Who does Sarah Palin think she is, not logging face time with the weirds who vaulted her into the elusive echelon of celebrity from where she sneers down at the gotcha media? I mean, if not for them, we wouldn't be brinking on a new class of insurgence, one who conflates the Bible with Going Rogue and possesses a distinct fear of words. At a recent book signing, Palin was all like, "Whatever, bitch. I do what I want. I'll go to Ann Taylor and buy a smart pantsuit. What-everr." And then she sashayed away, signing no more books. Which is when that booing ensued. Video follows.

As Courtney Alice Shayne once said in Jawbreaker, "Life's a bitch, then you die." Today of all days find that maxim to ring so loud as to dig irreversibly into our ears so that we may never be able to shake the truth of the statement from our heads. Take this horrible juxtaposition of two facts. Fact: Marriage equality is dead in most of the country! Fact: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have just celebrated their first anniversary of splashing around in the straights-only marriage pool. It's an epic occasion. So momentous for the pair that they're celebrating it apart from one another. Huh?

Back in August 1995, Type O Negative frontman Peter Steele did a Playgirl cover. And man, he did it right. Readers from that dusty era may remember Steele's unflinching verve--and how he saw the NSFW centerfold role for what it was: A smart way to drum up publicity. Also, he didn't half-ass it (har har!) In fact, he unabashedly pushed Canadian decency laws. Sure the trade-off for showing the full monty meant that Steele would age into a cultish camp figure instead of an immortal goth rock dreamboat. But fundamentally, he'll be remembered for having the cojones to showcase his, well, cojones. In the 14 years of delightful moral erosion following Steele's Playgirl glory, we can't say the same for the first man of Wasilla. Playgirl's new best: a tame monochromatic Levi propped up against a bathroom wall at a Taco Bell somewhere. Blah.

• Hello World! Meet Heidi Samuel. She's just like Heidi Klum, but upgraded: She's fierce! She's real! Sometimes, she even has a fugly misstep. But dammit, she sure loves that guy who was Frenched by a flower. [DigitalSpy]
• I don't know who Justin Bieber is either! Is he that Balloon Boy some people were bantering about weeks ago? Whoever he is, his fans are more unhinged than New Moon hordes, apparently. [ABC News]
• Sigh, I don't know why either as this is the perfect time for her to star in any Age of Innocence remake. (RE: Megan Fox won't be killed off in Transformers 3.) [DigitalSpy]

Unless you're one of the seven people in this country currently employed full-time and therefore far away from a television set, you've probably been lounging around your apartment during the day, desultory and shiftless. Busying about in your housecoat with curlers in your hair, day-drinking lukewarm zinfandel, smoking clove cigarettes, and peripherally watching your stories, you've got the makings of a 21st century Edie Beale. You may even take a little time out to periodically prod the cat with a yard stick to get her to stop mewling. That is until yesterday. Yesterday presented a glimpse of Franco on General Hospital. That's when you busted out the catnip. So you could have a 60-minute slice of you-and-James Franco special alone time. Perhaps you even opted to heckle your TV when the camera panned away to the blonde. After a bombastic debut, the actor's reasoning for coming onto the soap suddenly seems unimportant. His arc on the soap means that you can stop feeling bad about being a shut-in and can stop seeking out more enriching pursuits. Sometimes, it's enriching enough to simply support the arts. Franco's first few moments on GH after the break.

First UrbanDaddy and DailyCandy, now Lucky. The mag-brand has teamed up with 40 different retailers and handpicked items for their stores to be sold directly on Lucky's site (in total it's more than 450 brands, or 86,000 products). Items are separated into different categories and subsequently into two sections. As Racked explains it, "the result is a two-tiered search system: You can either take the direct pipeline to Lucky's favorite ten or fifteen choices, or you can spend some quality time browsing through a wider -- but still curated -- list of items."

Traditionally, the only things you've been able to buy in-flight are food and cocktails. However, with airlines expanding into the sales of items like blankets, cigarettes, and now WiFi, the door has been cracked for other retailing opportunities on board. American Airlines has reportedly broken the seal and is selling Heathrow Express train tickets on a limited basis for some LON-bound flights. This is a smart idea -- a win-win for the passengers and the airline.

Today, Robert Pattinson runs to Dover cliffs, the wind whipping his unruly mane. He looks out across the Strait of Dover, unwraps a tasty chocolate New Moon bar. In between delicate nibbles of this candy morsel, he asks the world, "Why!" As in "Why does New Moon have to suck so much!?" Because despite record projections, the actor is still itching for "serious roles" that "showcase" his "talents" as an "actor." To which end, his native Britain is barren. Even for such an accomplished player like him.

Men's fashion is really hitting its stride with artist and designer collaborations this fall. Just yesterday I posted on Michael Stipe teaming up with Maison Martin Margiela, as well as John Bartlett and Alex Carlton's soon-to-debut collaboration. Now comes news that both musician Pharell Williams (no stranger to fashion or furniture design) is teaming with iconic French fashion brand Moncler, while avant-garde artist Terrence Koh is partnering up with Converse. Williams is following in the footsteps of quite a few designers (Thom Browne has designed a capsule collection for Moncler in the past, as has Visvim, a Japanese streetwear brand), designing a special edition of men’s jackets. "The all-black lineup will make its debut for fall 2010 and includes a 'pacifist' version of the bulletproof jacket, with Velcro-ed side slits, reversible matte/shiny down vests and elongated puffers," says Women's Wear Daily.

It seems like just yesterday Washington State was getting all caught up in the Twilight/New Moon mania and spinning off tours and downloadable PDFs for all Twihards who felt like coming to visit Port Angeles, Forks, and the spooky area of La Push. Now they're offering actual trip giveaways to the Twilight promised land. New Moon officially comes out today, and Washington is going to ride the vampire wave as long as they can, or at least until April, when they'll stop giving away free trips.