To these rumors about David Lynch reviving Twin Peaks, I say: Nay! Mind you, this is coming from the biggest Lynch enthusiast. I mean, yes, please—let’s revive something that was on television 20 years ago because now, anyone with a Netflix account has suddenly realized that it would be super cool to watch Twin Peaks so they too can claim their love with proclamations about doughnuts and coffee and cherry pie, oh my, smell those douglas firs! It feels, to me, that if Lynch were to really revive the show and create a third season, it would be for nothing more than to placate enthused those who probably don’t even know who Angelo Badalamenti is. I fear it would just be some pastiche of his old self—Lynch for the sake of being Lynch and there’s nothing Lychian about that at all.

And what's more, does no one remember the lunacy that was the second season of the show? That is, until Lynch swooped back in at the very end. The entire thing felt like that weird state between dreaming and waking up from a nap when you’re not sure if you’re an outlaw in 1927 or just beginning to gain consciousness. Not to mention, a lot of time has passed. Jack Nance is dead. Instead of opening the season with him as Pete Martell on the phone saying, “She’s dead,” we’d all have to shed a tear in recognition that HE IS dead. Let’s not kid ourselves, Katy Perry would probably guest star and in that case, we might as well request our own murder by a One-Eyed Jack’s patron at that point. Will Dale still have his tape recorder? Or will he set up a Twitter account for Diane and just tweet her sweet nothings and daily updates on his dreaming of gumdrops and Monroe ponderings?

Honestly, I would rather have David Lynch stop making films/television entirely if it means just repeating himself for the hell of it. What’s so interesting about him is how devoted he has always been to his own aesthetic and his own world, how unwavering he is himself—and with integrity! Even as a painter or musician, his work is so inherently Lynchian no matter what decade it’s been a part of and feels of its own psycholoigical and social space. But literally, when I think of a Twin Peaks revival, I'm struck with a most hauntingly nasuseating image: herds of people lounging ironically around someone’s faux wood-panel apartment, drinking “Blue Rose” PBR cocktails, eating vegan doughnuts, and smoking e-cigarettes.