Post-Stormy Daniels: 8 Pornstars Ready to Stuff the Political Void

Now that "adult entertainment actress" Stormy Daniels has ostensibly ended her aspirational political career with the domestic beatdown heard around the internet, there's a gaping void in American politics that needs to be filled. We scoured the adult industry in search of other perfect pornstars who can lift this country from its knees.

Lisa Ann - She might not be a VP candidate/former governor of Alaska in real life, but she played one on your computer.

Mary Carey - Most people thought her run for governor of California in 2003 was just a stunt, but when she placed 10th out of 135 candidates, people started taking the bottled blonde more seriously. But when she announced a planned presidential run, that’s when we got a little scared. After all, she’s a Republican. 

Nina Hartley - A legend in the porn biz, this silver fox maybe be our most promising candidate yet. She graduated magna cum laude from San Francisco State University and is a registered nurse, making her a legit voice in the health care debate. She also played Hillary Clinton in the Palin porn mentioned above, and best of all, she’s openly bisexual, putting any rumors of closet homosexuality straight to bed.

Jazella Moore - Her husband was fired as town manager of Fort Myers Beach in Florida because of her onscreen exploits, so obviously her first order of business would be to reinstate capital punishment in the state of Florida and start taking names.

Sasha Grey - Her credentials don’t necessarily match up with the rest of the candidates, but she’s been so good to us over the years that she’s got our vote.

Tera Patrick - She’s one of porn’s most recognizable faces, and the part-Vietnamese stunner fits right in with the ethnic politician trend started by Obama. She’s also raised money for the Free Speech Coalition and A.I.M. Healthcare, which means she’s got, like, principles.

Sunny Leone - This former Penthouse Pet of the Year was born in small-town Canada and comes from an incredibly diverse background—she was raised a Sikh even though both her parents are Punjabi. And in case any fanatical birthers shout “conspiracy theory,” Leone became a U.S. citizen in 2006 and made this video to prove it. 

Evan Stone - Because dude just looks presidential.