25 of Playboy’s Worst Cover Models

Since its inception in 1953, Playboy has been the gift that keeps on giving to men around the world. However, that’s not to say that every Playboy model has been as sizzlingly attractive as Joana Krupa. In fact, sometimes Playboy sets its sights on sad, attention-starved starlets simply for the PR. Take Tara Reid, for example. Her spread will draw in many readers more interested in the train wreck than the scintillation. Similarly, sometimes Playboy snags some real hotties, but only gives us a small slither of nudity pie – not exactly what “readers” are seeking from the magazine. As 2009 draws to a close, we decided now is as appropriate of a time as ever to compile some of Playboy’s worst cover girls in the mag’s history. Of course, for the record, we’d probably still sleep with them all.

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1.) La Toya Jackson (March 1989)
Known mostly for her scandals through the 80s and 90s, her personal drama eclipses her haphazard “career.” It’s a small wonder that she would lend credibility to the sexual abuse allegations against her brother Michael. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t the bad Jackson. To make matters worse, the bleached skin in her Playboy spread made her resemble her infamous brother.

2.) Lisa Guerrero (January 2006)
If there are two things that men love, it’s sports and women. But they also love a third thing: full nudity. Unfortunately, Lisa didn’t deliver on the naked.  Readers were more likely to get aroused by a lingerie catalog than her issue. I’m not saying I haven’t used a JC Penney catalog when I was desperate, but come on Playboy! I expect more from you.

3.) Paris Hilton (March 2005)
Because of her excessive privileges, careless antics, and air headed comments, those in the world who don’t hate Paris Hilton are few and far in between. Chances are that even Tiger Woods has a higher approval amongst the Swedes. Not only was her Playboy spread undesirable, but it was also completely unnecessary. After all, a much more graphic videotape of Paris was only a click away.

4.) Jessica Alba (March 2006)
Jessica Alba stands out as an exception on this list. While she’s certainly gorgeous enough to honor Playboy with her presence, she never actually consented to appearing in it. The cover itself was a poorly photoshopped image from her 2005 movie, Into The Blue. This ultimately sparked a lawsuit, which was later dropped after an apology from Hugh Hefner. Lawsuits are not sexy.

5.) Tara Reid (January/February 2010)
Recently, Playboy seems intent on showcasing C-listers, has-beens, and washed up actresses. Tara Reid falls under all three categories. This once-for-a-brief-period-of-time hot Hollywood starlet was in demand 10 years prior to her Playboy cover shoot. Her brief stint on E!’s “Wild On” rendered her a professional drinker, a profession that has steadily taken its toll. A botched-up liposuction gave her stomach the appearance of a shrunken prune. Tara Reid is a perfect example of the old adage “too much of anything is bad.” This doesn’t exclude plastic surgery.