Russian Predicts Balkanization of America in 2009

Have you heard that the United States is going to fall next year? It's true. Russian academic Igor Panarin just said so. According to his theory reported in today's Wall Street Journal, here's how it will go down. Mass immigration, economic decline, and moral degradation will trigger a civil war. Then the dollar will collapse, and the United States will splinter into six separate unions, with Alaska (and presumably Governor Sarah Palin) falling under Russian control.

Of course, Panarin is a former KGB analyst, so reader beware (or just not be stupid or panic). However, I love the effort to plant the theory in hopes it goes viral and drives us all deep into self-defeat and madness. Head games were so much fun during the Cold War, why not bring them back?

Reports the Journal, “[I]t’s his bleak forecast for the U.S. that is music to the ears of the Kremlin, which in recent years has blamed Washington for everything from instability in the Middle East to the global financial crisis. Mr. Panarin’s views also fit neatly with the Kremlin’s narrative that Russia is returning to its rightful place on the world stage after the weakness of the 1990s, when many feared that the country would go economically and politically bankrupt and break into separate territories.” Las Vegas number runners should take note: “There’s a 55-45% chance right now that disintegration will occur. One could rejoice in that process,” Panarin says. “But if we’re talking reasonably, it’s not the best scenario—for Russia.” Happy New Year, comrades!