Angry Australian Fans Sell Britney Spears Concert Tickets For $1

Seriously? This is still an issue? Has Britney really been duping die-hards Down Under for the past decade or so into thinking that when she moves her lips along to words like "Give me a sign / Hit me baby one more time" and "Well baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of girl / Don't like the backseat, gotta be first," she is intoning vocally? I mean, yes it's some of the most evocative verse since they were able to translate Sappho's greatest hits. But Britney, so preoccupied with keeping her dance steps straight, can't be trusted to remember which notes to hit, let alone to recall the actual polysyllabic components which comprise her tunes. Alas, none of these considerations matter to her harshest critics. Snarly critics who are now shilling tickets to the pop broad's Australian dates with starting bids of just over $1.

For ticket-holders, this is a far drop from the face value, which ranges from $180 to $1600. About hundreds of tickets are being auctioned off with ridiculously low starting bids. Like this bid which started at $0.01, for a show that’s only four days away. Many such auctions have been capping at around $20. The initial set of tickets emerged on eBay for pennies on the dollar after word-of-mouth initially spread about Spears’ allegedly lackluster performances. Other fans have supposedly been clamoring outside the venue, willing to give tickets away for free. Who would’ve thought the last thing on earth you could ever buy for a buck would be Britney tix?  Things you can’t buy for a dollar: A Metrocard, a bottle of soda, or a pack of gum.

Consequently, Britney remains holed up in a hotel room, snacking on kangaroo fillets and Kinder Bueno bars. It’s said that she’s a crumpled shameful heap. Some fans contend that she had it comin’. What with the venues’ enormous screens offering no visuals of her for those in the nosebleeds and with the pop star having her back to the audience for most of the set.

Between this professional setback and her social media malfunctions this week, she probably could go on and on about how this is her worst week ever. But on the upside: Her newest single stays in the Top 10.