Beauty and the Booze: How to Apply Makeup While Drunk

There are a number of helpful tips outlining how to fix your face the morning after a major drink-a-thon, but what about fixing yourself when you couldn't blush a straight line, much less walk one? The issue in question usually arises whilst one is elbow deep in some after-work margs at Rosa Mexicana, at which point furthering the fun from an after-work activity into an after-dawn affair seems like a very good idea. Not even the heinous sight of your tequila swollen face, still hanging on to the last remnants of the foundation you applied before 8am, and runny mascara, could deter you from meeting boys for even more tequila at Cantina Latina. This drunk makeup dilemma usually occurs during one of these occasions: you've accidentally have one too many vodka red bulls while curling your hair before a night out, you've decided during a round of shots that this after-work cocktail session needs to head to the club, or you've somehow managed to see straight long enough to catch a glimpse of yourself in a shard of mirror clinging to the bathroom wall of some dive in Chinatown. Fear not Beauty Junkie, there's an app(lication) for that.

The Pre Drink Beauty Fix, AKA The Martini in the Shower Was a Bad Idea Fix
Tools: Maybelline Line Express™ Eyeliner, Clinique Redness Solutions Instant Relief Mineral Powder, Clinique High Impact Curling Mascara, Clinique Long Last Glosswear SPF 15 in Tenderheart.
The Plan: You don’t want to push your luck with your usual regimen as liquid liner, red lipstick, and tricky foundation can turn into a heavy handed overload, one that you’ll imagine to be like the work of Francois Nars. No. Create smudgy, smokey eyes with an eyeliner that’s made to be smudged. Drag the Line Express™ Eyeliner between bottom and top lashes, using the spongey smudger to blend the color. Harsh, straight lines are not only unflattering, they’re pretty much impossible when you’re sitting at your boudoir with a beer. Dont be afraid of the extremely yellow hue of Clinique’s Redness Solutions Instant Relief Mineral Powder, it’s a miracle base that will get rid of red discolorations, broken capillaries, and your alcohol induced rosy cheeks. The High Impact Curling Mascara substracts the eyelash curler, so you wont risk pulling out your lid fringe, and the Long Last Glosswear sticks around, but doesnt douse your lips in messy stains, and the color Tenderheart is a tawny hue that can finish off many different looks.

The Prolonged Evening With Washed-Out Work Face Fix
Tools: An obnoxious eye shadow color like Nars Eye Shadow Duo in Brumes, Tropic or Fuji, Laura Mercier Shimmer Block, Shu Uemura Rouge Unlimited Supreme Shine in wh003.
The Plan: If you are in the business of making spur of the moment decisions, you may as well splash out and get even more experimental. Jump on the bright, 80’s eye shadow badwagon, using a smooth, pretty color you arent used to. Bold color can disperse pigment quickly, so you’ll get more bang for the time you’re taking to hold up the bathroom line. Try the green trend, whether it’s mint or a rich turquoise. Instead of putting even more powder on top of your powder, freshen up your day-old face with some shimmering powder. Use the lightest shade in Laura Mercier’s shimmer quad to highlight the brow bone and inner corners of your eyes- necessary to make you look a bit more awake, re: less shitfaced. Finish off with a shimmering balm that enhances your natural lip color, like the clear Rouge Unlimited product.

The Too Drunk to See Straight Face Fix
Tools: Boscia Peppermint Blotting Linens, Sephora Professionnel Radiance Flash Spray, Sephora FACE 25 Makeup Removing Wipes, cab fare.
The Plan: I love these products, the Sephora Radiance Spray will rejuvenate, and the Makeup Removing Wipes will wipe away liner, mascara and lipstick smudges. They can wipe away nearly every beauty blunder running down your face, but they can’t wipe away the fact that you just made out with Mateo, the bus boy with three missing teeth, because you mistook him for a D&G model. Take the cab fare out of your purse, and please go home.