Beckhams Let Tom Cruise Put a Ring on It

Perhaps she couldn't fight the hypnotic allure of Tom Cruise's unpatched eye -- she certainly wouldn't be the first -- but Victoria Beckham was finally starting to seem likable. Yesterday, she even went so far as to demonstrate humor belying her robotic countenance, telling The Times, "Honestly, I could have crawled on stage and died at that point and no one would have taken any notice," when probed about her lack of solos in the Spice Girls' first single.

But in a move counter to all her attempts at appearing down-to-earth, Victoria has signed off on Tom Cruise’s request to merge both their families into one enormous dysfunctional unit. The ceremony will take place in Katie Holmes’ New York townhouse and will consist of the couples exchanging “heartfelt speeches,” vowing to be brothers and sisters. But ultimately, the kids are the real winners here, inheriting aunts and uncles who’ll be more prone to giving them better swag—whether it’s a replica of the LA Lakers’ Staples Center or leftover lollipops.