Thigh-High Boot Craze Creates New Species of Muffin Top

Over-the-knee boots have been crowned the covetable item this fall by countless fashion blogs and rags alike. They were shown on FW09 catwalks from Gucci and Prada to (perhaps the most yapped about version) Nicholas Kirkwood's lace-up creations at Rodarte. The frenzy came on so fierce that one Vogue staffer who couldn't nab a free pair from her preferred designer (or wait like a plebeian until the high-price tag toting footwear hit store shelves) was forced to take a DIY approach when it came to her OTK boot-of-choice. But like all great trends, this Pretty Woman-appropriate shoe style will in fact make it to the masses. "The Gucci, Louboutin, Choo, Chanel has trickled down to Charlotte Russe, Victoria's Secret and Steve Madden and yo, this is BAD NEWS," Mary HK Choi of The Awl says.

But just how bad is it?

Thanks to bootleggers and overly ambitious ladies for whom ‘holiday clothing’ was invented, those lovely dames who think lace ‘goes with’ sequins, confident daughters who received exactly the right amount of love from their parents and ‘love their job,’ ‘look good in hats’ and wear hosiery in red and green, thanks to them and their SENSE OF ADVENTURE I am experiencing something I was wholly unprepared for: THIGH-HIGH BOOT MUFFIN TOP.

That’s right. Get ready for a whole new kind of bulge soon to hit a place of business near you. Arguably worse than the love handles produced by a pandemic of low-rise jeans circa Britney Spears’ heyday, the look is not a good one.