Black Eyed Peas Killed Music: 25 Weeks of #2 Singles

The horror! The shame! The indignity! America, why have you not adjusted your collective hearing aid yet and started listening to something else? Seriously. Even Leona Lewis would be preferable. But no. Yesterday marked the 25th week that pop pox Black Eyed Peas has topped our chart. It seems like long ago, in a time when Joan Rivers still had her real nose and Pluto was still a planet, when we last had decent music. Yet, 25 weeks of Fergie and that guy who gave Perez Hilton his comeuppance makes us reflect. It forces us to listen deeply to what tunes that we, as a nation that at least managed to pick the more sentient leader last fall, loved but not nearly as much as we loved a hip-hop group that has a penchant for legumes. So presenting 25 weeks of #2 singles, after the break!

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Week 1, April 9: Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
Week 2, April 16: Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
Week 3, April 23: Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
Week 4, April 30: Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
Week 5, May 7: Jamie Foxx featuring T-Pain, “Blame It”
Week 6, May 14: Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
Week 7, May 21: Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
Week 8, May 28: Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
Week 9, June 4: Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
Week 10, June 11: Pitbull, “I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)”
Week 11, June 18: Black Eyed Peas, “I Gotta Feeling”
Week 12, June 25: Black Eyed Peas, “I Gotta Feeling”
Week 13, July 2: Black Eyed Peas, “Boom Boom Pow”
Week 14, July 9: Black Eyed Peas, “Boom Boom Pow”
Week 15, July 16: Drake, “Best I Ever Had”
Week 16, July 23: Drake, “Best I Ever Had”
Week 17, July 30: Drake, “Best I Ever Had”
Week 18, August 6: Drake, “Best I Ever Had”
Week 19, August 13: Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”
Week 20, August 20: Miley Cyrus, “Party In the USA”
Week 21, August 27: Miley Cyrus, “Party In the USA”
Week 22, September 3: Jay Sean featuring LIl’ Wayne, “Down”
Week 23, September 10: Jay Sean featuring LIl’ Wayne, “Down”
Week 24, September 17: Jay Sean featuring Lil’ Wayne, “Down”
Week 25, September 24: Jay-Z & Rihanna featuring Kanye West, “Run This Town”

Conclusions: Music is dead. Also, this week’s #2 is the same song that prevented the Sugababes’ final single from reaching the top spot a few weeks ago. Most disturbingly of all, not even Jake Gyllenhaal‘s presence in “Blame It’ was enough to seduce America away from B.E.P. Not even for a single week.