Bottle Service with Kid Sister

Share Button

Never mind her prepubescent alias. Chicago rapper Kid Sister is most definitely old enough to get her drank on. Here, after a intense session of drankin’ at the Grace hotel, is her spirited rundown on this season’s most potent potables.

Pernod Aux Extraits de Plantes d’Absinthe: “It’s like freebasing licorice — not that I know what freebasing is like. It’s like cooking down licorice into its purest form and then injecting it into your eyes. It’s so gross! Need the water! Need the water!”

Absolut Vodka (in Limited-Edition Holiday Disco Packaging): “There’s nothing like a fermented spud. This one feels like there’s a disco going on in my brain. I Absolut-ly—I repeat—Absolut-ly love this vodka. I gotta get me a sponsor!”

The Last Drop 1960 Vintage Scotch Whiskey: “This is $2,000? It kind of tastes like battery acid mixed with butter, I’m not gonna lie. $2,000 is more than my rent!”

Jameson Rarest Vintage Reserve: “I like Jameson anyway, but this is like Jameson with a nice pair of shoes on.”

Sandeman Tawny Porto, 40 Years Old: “I’m taking this home! A lot of times, dessert wine is too sweet. You want a dessert wine to complement the sweetness of what you’re eating, not compete with it. Unless you’re PMS-ing, that shit isn’t okay. But this is good. And Tawny Porto sounds like a porn star!”

Cointreau Noir: “This just tastes like burnt popcorn, for real!”

Ultimat Vodka: “This almost tastes like grape vodka. I used to really like Cîroc when I was 22. But vodka isn’t really my drink of choice. I’m more of a gin-and-juice girl.”

Moet & Chandon Grand Vintage 2003: “This is good! A mimosa is one of my favorite breakfast hangover drinks, and this would suit that nicely.”

Solerno Blood Orange Liqueur: “This would be good in a margarita. It tastes like oranges on meth. That’s not the first drug reference I’ve made, but I’ve been watching a lot of Intervention lately.”

Tru Organic Gin: “It smells like juniper berries and Pine-Sol, like a mix between Christmas and clean-up time. Drinking this feels like biting into a York peppermint patty.”

Nicolas Feuillatte Champagne Rosé Palmes D’or 2002: “I’m not a big fan of rosé champagnes, and I’ll tell you why: they’re gay. I’m kidding! But it is a little dry. I feel like someone took erasers and clamped them together in my throat.”

Krug Grande Cuvée: “When I first took a sip, I was like, Ooh, I feel grown now! I feel really grown!”


Also check out Kid Sister’s favorite bars in Chicago.