Bruce Hulse is one gloriously shallow cad. The former Calvin Klein model has dropped his briefs and picked up the pen to write his male model memoir — Sex, Love and Fashion. The book hits stores today. Here’s what you can expect: lots of awesomely detailed kiss-and-tell romps with supermodels like Tatjana Patitz (“When a supermodel wants to drink tequila with you, you don’t ask questions — you drink tequila.”), Carey Lowell (“The akido dance we did together was highly erotic.”) and Paulina Porizkova (“It was like a professional wrestling match. We tore that room apart. I’d never had such energetic, wild sex with anyone before.”). Along the way, Hulse even offers some tips because, you know, he just likes to give back: “Don’t hit on the model whom the photographer has his eye on. If I couldn’t figure out which girl he was going after,” Hulse writes, “the likelihood was that he was coming after me.” Derek Zoolander has nothing on Hulse.