Chicago: Top 10 Bars for Dumping Your Boyfriend

Get him a drink, then give him the boot.

1. The Map Room (Bucktown/Wicker Park) - With books and maps reminiscent of a European explorer's study and a second-to-none beer selection, the bar's literally perfect for telling the guy to take a hike.

2. The Vic Theatre Brew & View (Wrigleyville) - When the dilapidated old Vic Theatre isn't hosting concerts (which is most nights), you can watch third-run movies, drink, and yell obscenities at the screen at its Brew & View night. Either way, you can scream, pull at your hair, and spill your guts without making a scene.

3. The Long Room (Lakeview) - Yeah, it's just one long, dark room with a patio seating area to the side, but the place has a certain indiscernible charm. Lure him into the photobooth and document the exact moment his heart breaks.

4. Eno (Near North Side) - Go under the ruse of wanting to taste some of the best South African or French wines being poured in Chicago, and pick a communal table half-full of single women. Introduce yourself and your soon-to-be-ex, then never come back from the washroom.

5. Fulton Lounge (West Loop) - Get here before 9 p.m. if you want to snag a seat on the couch or chair in one of the front-room lounge areas. When it gets too crowded—and it will—let go of his hand, give him back the necklace, and break it off just as the mob shoulders you in different directions.

6. Hogs & Honeys (Lincoln Park) - It’s a Coyote Ugly-esque bar where the ladies dance on the bar and pour shots into your mouth. Stick around to watch the gals ride the mechanical bull and use his stares as an excuse to say that’s the final straw.

7. Salud Tequila Lounge (Bucktown/Wicker Park) - Order a couple of tequila cheeseburgers and half-dozen margaritas. When you’re both good and toasty, then you can fearlessly dig your forefinger into his chest and rattle off your list of complaints.

8. Matilda (Wrigleyville) - If you’re one of those dramatic couples who like to follow each other around while arguing, you have three bars to stomp into at Matilda’s. In the basement bar—Baby Atlas—you can blow out one of their candles as a metaphor.

9. Potter’s Lounge (Wrigleyville) - Brush shoulders with jazz lovers and carelessly rich spenders in this swanky-for-Hilton-Hotel lounge. Let him buy you one (or three) of their stellar Mai Tais, score a dark leather booth and explain that it’s not him, it’s you.

10. Waterhouse Tavern and Grill (Roscoe Village) - Quality bar food and stylish bartenders serve pitchers of down-the-hatch favorites like sangria and rum punch. It’s located directly under the Paulina Brown Line station, so when you give him the bad news you can run upstairs and catch the train to singleville.