Noted versifier Edward Westwick — a.k.a. Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl — turned in a pre-Thanksgiving bit of poesy on his Facebook page, making good use of the venerable “when you [do x] I’ll [do y]” construct popular in the oeuvres of sagacious hermits like the Jonas Brothers and Avril Lavigne. Nevertheless, this particular creative effort provoked a few Facebook responses from Westwick’s fellow GG castmembers, all preserved after the jump, along with the full poem. Is “Danii Captain-Crunch Crawford” really Chace Crawford? An impenetrable mystery, just like Westwick’s verse.
When you’ll walk away from me mad, I’ll follow you When you’ll stare at my mouth, I’ll kiss you When you’ll push me or hit me, I’ll grab you and don’t let you go When you’ll start cussing at me, I’ll kiss you and tell you I love you When you’ll be quiet, I’ll ask you what’s wrong When you’ll ignore me, I’ll give you my attention When you’ll pull me away, I’ll pull you back When I’ll see you at your worst, I’ll tell you’re beautiful When I’ll see you start crying, I’ll just hold you and and don’t say a word When I’ll see you walking, I’ll sneak up and hug your waist from behind When you’ll be scared, I’ll protect you When you’ll lay your head on my shoulder, I’ll tilt your head up and kiss you When you’ll steal my favorite hat, I’ll let you keep it and sleep with it for a night When you’ll tease me, I’ll tease you back and make you laugh When you’ll don’t answer for a long time, I’ll reassure you that everything is okay When you’ll look at me with doubt, I’ll back myself up When you’ll say that you like me, I’ll know that you really do more than I could understand When you’ll grab my hands, I’ll hold yours and play with your fingers When you’ll bump into me, I’ll bump into you back and make you laugh When you’ll tell you a secret, I’ll keep it safe and untold When you’ll look at me in my eyes, I’ll don’t look away until you do When you’ll miss me, we were both hurting inside
And when I’ll say I love you, you’ll know it’s true.
[and now, the responses]