Crocs Reimagined: The Cruelest Shoes

They're back! Crocs! Just when you thought it was safe to step outside, those Colorado hippies have rolled out another fashion footwear assault. Sure, this time it's not molded rubber kid-killers, but it's still bad. The new shoe is called the "Santa Cruz." The upside is that these kicks are made from far more naturalistic canvas fiber. The downside? They look like a sick pair of Espadrilles mated with droopy ballet slippers. And why canvas slip-ons are named "Santa Cruz" is anyone's guess.