Holiday Music Must Haves

Thanksgiving is over and the month-long overdose of holiday jingles is upon us. If the traditional tunes bring back memories of past gift-giving disappointments (still waiting for that Barbie Ferrari?), or your sad encounter with mom and pops, boozed up late on Christmas Eve playing up their obligatory role as “Santa," here are some current takes on the classics. They're better than two quarts of Aunt Nora’s eggnog.

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● If On A Winter’s Night by Sting (2009)
Sting gets more done by 9 am than most of us can accomplish in a month of to-do lists and post-it reminders. He can save the rainforest, have tantric sex with Trudie Styler, film a cameo of himself and record 15 tracks of meaningful Christmas tunes with his muscular, dominating voice, all while hand-delivering a fruit cake to your parent’s front door, even though you’ve been snowed in for three days.

● Holiday Collection / Sounds of the Season by Taylor Swift (2008)
It’s close to impossible to dislike Tay Tay. Those curly locks, her heartfelt teenage crooning about snagging another Jonas Brother Twilight heartthrob, her concrete country music morals… Fine, her holiday collection is no Mariah Carey Merry Christmas, but this girl’s still got soul!

● A Cherry Cherry Christmas by Neil Diamond (2009)
If you’re accustomed to spending the most wonderful time of the year on the casino floor, brazenly gambling away your holiday bonus, Neil Diamond’s holiday collection is the soundtrack to your life. The Jewish Elvis also pays tribute with “The Chanukah Song” (you know, the Adam Sandler one).

● My Christmas by Andrea Bocelli (2009)
The Italian tenor delivers an oddly varied but rewarding assortment of songs on his #1 Billboard Holiday Chart album. With guest appearances from Mary J. Blige, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, The Muppets, Reba McEntire and Natalie Cole, the mix has a pretty universal appeal, even if it isn’t exactly cohesive. The Muppets/Bocelli mix is so weirdly satisfying you’ll put it on repeat real quick.

● Gold and Green by Sugarland (2009)
Part Adult Contemporary, part good ol’ country twang. Depending on what you’re into, you’ll be hitting the forward button on every other song. The track entitled “Nuttin’ for Christmas,” about being bad and stuff, is beyond catchy, while the more traditional “City of Silver Dreams” is beyond bland.