Debunking ‘Batman’ Casting Myths

It's understandable: Some hack flack somewhere was so giddy about Heath Ledger's Golden Globe and SAG nods that they probably ran his/her mouth at a pub somewhere. Then a nearby drunk reporter cobbled together this bit of tattle from his hearsay for UK tabloid The Sun about Christopher Nolan's third installment of Batman. In said report, all the major roles of Gotham, as it's apparently titled, are outlined, with even a teaser as to how the film might or might not end. Excellent reporting, Sun! Here are a few reasons why, aside from Christian Bale and Michael Caine, this cast list is phonier than Katie Holmes' portrayal of Rachel Dawes.

● Shia LaBeouf as Robin - Although director Christopher Nolan said something about previous castings of the character being old. Although a certain je ne sais quoi (some may suggest an inclination towards douchebaggery) makes him tailor-made for the role. Although Emile Hirsch is looking like the smarter option.
● Eddie Murphy as the Riddler: America hasn’t forgiven Murphy for his sleazy deadbeat antics regarding a former Spice Girl-turned-Dancing With the Stars alumna. More importantly, the viewing public is still traumatized from having accidentally seen Norbit. But then again, the Riddler was always a self-involved sociopath; here’s hoping Murphy doesn’t feel typecast.
● Rachel Weisz as Catwoman: Even if Dark Knight was a bit rambling and uneven, it brimmed with critical darlings cast in unusually mainstream roles. Weisz seems like a sensible pick, but still a miscast, as other talented thesps have mastered the art of the calm, collected, but neurotic (Selma Blair? Perhaps Parker Posey?). Whoever fills in these stilettos will have a lot of damage control to handle on this character, shamelessly eviscerated by Halle Berry. I’m sorry too, Eartha Kitt.