Gays Find Unlikely Heroine in Kim Kardashian

Remember that time when Meghan McCain, Heidi Montag, and Miley Cyrus all emerged as valiant supporters of gay rights and then gays pondered, for a second, how much more kinder it would be to fall victim to Oscar Wilde's fate than to count such insipid debutantes as their champions? Well, it just gets worse! Infiltrating the blond trinity just in time for another round of futile afterthoughts resembling anti-Prop. 8 demonstrations is a brunette sheep most noted for the dimensions of her derriere: Kim Kardashian.

Taking a little time out from showing off her “hot bikini bod”, Kardashian brays, “Everyone ... gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered—everyone should have equal rights to marry who they want to.” Much like McCain, Kardashian also has a jewelry box of faery princes to call her own. “I have many gay friends, and all I want is for them to be happy, yet this is just another obstacle in their way. Now they must continue fighting to be granted a basic civil right that many people take for granted.” But unlike McCain, Kardashian is able to use her forked tongue to properly condemn the spirit of Texas which courses through California’s veins: “Shame on you, California! We must all continue to fight the hate!”