Sublime subMercer, Purgatorio Is Turgid

In the end, I end up at subMercer because it is reliable, well-run, intelligent, classy, unpretentious, and adult. My goodness, I could go on forever, but of course goodness has nothing to do with it -- subMercer is sexy. Doormaster Richard Alvarez and I exchanged a dozen "oh my gods" and "you look greats" and we both said "fierce" and "fabulous" and "work" a few times before I went subterranean. A sea of familiar faces greeted me and mine. Gabby Mejia, who rules this gem, got me my usual -- a glass of water -- and stunned me with conversation and a slinky black cocktail dress. Greg Brier of Brier Group's Aspen, Aspen Social, Highbar, Amalia, and D'or fame was celebrating his birthday, and he didn't look nearly as old as people said he was. DJs Justin Strauss and Tommy James were hanging out to support by being even a bit older than Greg. One of mine said Greg was "charismatic and handsome and fun and it was amazing that he was as old as he was." I reminded her that I have shoes as old as him. She asked, "How long have you guys known each other?" and I said, "I can't tell you how we met or where or how long ago, or I would be dating myself," and then looked her up and down and realized I already was.

DJ Jennifly was there as usual, and the place was wonderfully distracting me from my obligations. Gabby introduced me to André Balazs. It was a nice meet. We spoke of Boom Boom Room and one of my posse from San Francisco explained how famous the Boom Boom Room out there really was. André lamented the hopelessness of ever calling it that. We all agreed we loved the name—everybody loves it—but alas, André said it had to go. He told me the new name, but I wont tell you what the new name is because he told me on the QT, which he says it won’t be called anymore. When André and his crew and publicist Nadine Johnson decide to tell you, you will know. Of course, it doesn’t matter what they call it as it is spectacular no matter what ... shoot, I once went out with a girl named Barbara who insisted I call her Trixie. She was fun either way. Some will probably keep calling it Boom Boom Room forever.

I congratulated André on his vision and then stopped with the shop talk and enjoyed the evening. One of the girls in my party hadn’t stopped wondering out loud how old I really was. I reached into my George Burns library and told her, “Let’s just put it this way baby—I’m so old that having sex is like playing pool with a rope.” She asked me, “Why would you even do that?” and I thought of Dexter. I was saved by my pal Leslie Lewis, who owns that super sleek and hip rarechic.com. She’s brilliant and fun and chatted up André with large rather than the small talk . André was all smiles, and so it was infectious. It was a blast.