The Boom Boom Room Is Doomed

A sweet tuxedo girl you see
A queen of swell society
Fond of fun as fond can be
When it's on the strict QT
I'm not too young, I'm not too old
Not too timid, not too bold
Just the kind you'd like to hold
Just the kind for sport I'm told
Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-re!

The Boom Boom Room isn't doomed at all, really -- it's just changing its name. A source tells me that "they were sort of trying out the name but decided we need a new one ... we didn't realize how many other Boom Boom Rooms were out there, one of the names André Balazs is considering is QT, as in on the QT." For those who don't know the expression it means on the quiet; it's been around since the mid 1800s and was featured in the movie LA Confidential. It's the Danny DeVito sign off of his newspaper column: "Off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush."

QT or whatever it ends up being called is the best room ever. Changing the name will not take the boom boom from the room. There is nothing Standard about it. The crowd is wonderful, the design’s the best this town has seen so far, and the view is spectacular and romantic. I told Kamil Parchomienko, who’s running the room, that its old school elegance reminds me of the clubs in the old black-and-white movies where everyone wore a tux or a gown. Kamil said, “Yes, it makes everyone want to dress up,” and he had the courtesy not to look me up and down.

Opening night was all that I ever dreamed nightlife could be. It was like a Jay Gatsby, party only André Balazs is no phony. He is at the top of his game here. He has created and orchestrated the best room I’ve ever seen. Every door was opened by a gentleman with a polite hello or thank you. Every staff member was impeccable and intelligent and helpful with a smile on their beautiful faces. The only thing missing was pretentiousness so often found in the “best places.” It’s even better than what everyone is saying. Now the whole downtown hipster crowd may never embrace it, but the ones with substance will. I didn’t see much plaid in the room, but style ruled this roost. It is “the” best adult playground I’ve ever seen, and I left awed and inspired. Sometimes nightlife is like a big meal, and you leave it bloated and exhausted. I left the Boom Boom Room full but inspired and wanting more. There were no lines outside as you were either in or you were not, and it’s going to be like that. QT, if that’s what they end up calling it, is Old Hollywood, putting on the ritz New York, F. Scott Fitzgerald and all André Balazs. It’s not really “off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush” anymore—indeed it’s the talk of the town. I’ll use this new American slang to commend Mr. Balazs: he can talk the talk and he can walk the walk.

A text from BLVD honcho Eddie Brady read “Mr. Steve, Mr. Black’s preview party is tomorrow [that’s tonight] within their new home in the private area in the back of BLVD, coming?” That Eddie sure is clever, and yes I am. I would not miss it for the world. I don’t know if that message was for everyone though, so keep it off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush for now, OK? This is the perfect spot for Mr. Black. Although a bit smaller than Mr. Black guru Stuart is used to, its downtown location is a big plus. Much of Stuart’s crowd can stumble home from the Spring and Bowery location.

So Pink Elephant members shuffle into the Room Service space, displacing Mr. Black just as I get a message off the M2 mass text service declaring Tiësto and his considerable boom boom skills will be actualized at the 5th anniversary party this coming Tuesday at the Pink Elephant we all know on 27th Street. This is going to get testy—I can feel it. I hear the name is going to be fought for. It’s one of the best names ever for a nightclub, and it’s a brand that all parties worked hard to establish. Rocco Anacarola is still on 27th, while David Sarner goes to Room Service. So what will the Sarner Pink Elephant crew call the Room Service space? How about the Room Room, room?

There’s lots more to tell you but I’ll leave you with this off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush, despite denials and a huffy hush-hush “don’t print that.” Two and a half good sources swear that the Freemans Alley crew will land squarely in the the Kelley & Peng space at 2nd Street and the Bowery. I called Uva owner Massimo Lusardi, who has the lease, and asked him if he was involved with the Freemans dudes, and I was told a serious “no comment.” A no comment is not a “what the f are you talking about, that isn’t true at all,” and never will be. So for now I’m heading boom boom boom back to my room. Does anybody remember that Paul Lekakis song? Youtube it.