How to Survive Cinespia’s Hollywood Forever Screenings

As a former New Yorker, I had to endure years of New Yorkers proclaiming New York City to be so original that no city could ever measure up. While it’s true that New York is unique in its ability to be overcrowded, dirty, expensive, and loud, there is something that Los Angeles has that New York will never have: the Cinespia Hollywood Forever movie series, or, The Greatest Summer Invention of All Time.

I’ve written about the parties before, but here I must espouse further on the genius of this fabulous weekly event, held throughout the summer in a cemetery. I attended the second weekend of the series to see the greatness of Dazed and Confused with several hundred people, many of whom, judging from the wafts of smoke passing our way, were also dazed and confused. To be sure, entrée into Hollywood Forever is nearly impossible, and requires an almost military precision, especially if you are going to this weekend’s big event: Jaws on Saturday and Brazil on Sunday. Here’s some basic advice about going to a particularly popular movie during the series.

1.Get there early. No really. Doors are at 7 p.m. but the early bird gets to watch the movie from a good seat.

Our own operation was three-prong. My friend and I were the last of our party to arrive (we were providing food stuffs and blankets), and we circled around the block for 15 minutes before finding a very tight parking spot on a side street pretty close to the venue. We of course got into a fight with someone who appeared from around the corner, who claimed to have seen it first. When we arrived, our two friends who had gotten there at 5:30 were in one of those weaving lines that you see at amusement parks; every turn took five minutes, and they were nearly in. When we half-sprinted and half-hobbled to the lawn, we noted that the place was basically rammed, and that if we got to see the movie at all, it would be a small corner of the screen. Thankfully, our friends had two friends already there, who had gotten there even earlier, and had nabbed a super prime spot right in the front. Awesome.

Sucks for all the rest of the people waiting in that mile-long line wrapping around Santa Monica Blvd. around Gower who were most definitely not getting in.

2. Barring that, get there early. Drive into the parking lot on Santa Monica, coming from the East. Sit in traffic on the left hand turn lane for about 15 minutes until you get into the pearly gates of heaven. We did it once before, and it was easier than the driving around and parking and walking schtick.

3. Bring a copious amount of food. I mean, it’s not like you are gonna be there for just four hours. Do bring enough food to feed a small army, and don’t forget beer or wine. We brought (for six people): pasta with tomato and basil, curry chicken, creamy pasta and peas, hummus platter with pita chips, three bottles of wine, strawberries, cheese, pizza, prosciutto, crackers, and rice crispy treats. It was all gone by the time the movie started. No wonder I’m fat.

4. Blankets, hats, scarves, blankets, pillows. I know L.A. has a reputation for perfect weather, but it gets in the low 60s at night.

5. Bring a candle or some source of light so you can see what you are eating in the pitch black darkness.

6. Clean up after your bad self.

Was it worth the nearly half day of planning to see a movie any of us could rent in the privacy of our homes?

Hell yeah. Just being able to commune with all those people whenever Parker Posey appeared on screen, and to cheer when Matthew McConaughey spoke one of the greatest lines in all of cinema. (Yes, the one about high school girls.) You can’t get that in your house.