Janet Jackson & Madonna Team Up for Michael Jackson Schadenfreude

Well, we saw it coming. On one hand, maybe this is how the pop ecosystem works. That is, in order to facilitate the trapezoid of life that governs showbiz, all lesser pop stars must cannibalize on what non-chemical biomatter remains of any deceased pop legend. So that in some shape or form, most traces of the pop star can dissolve into the earth. And then, future pop stars can mint their legacies on flat covers of his hits. In that respect, Janet Jackson and Madonna meeting over greasy banh mi or whatever to talk about how to turn one man's death into career momentum for themselves is a sensible turn of events. But on the other hand, it's disappointing that two surviving pop forces, who both delivered poignant Michael Jackson tributes only recently, are piecing together a collaboration designed to launch them squarely into America's heart.

“Madonna was so impressed with Janet’s tribute to Michael that they started talking about how great it would be to honor him by doing something together,” confides an insider, probably Lourdes, after being bribed with a Kinder Egg. “With that one performance, Janet proved she’s back on top of her game. And who better to join forces with than Madonna? There was definitely something very interesting being planned between them.”

The last time two iconic divas chucked together a heap of pop-compost, the result was wormy at best. But maybe Madonna and Janet aren’t planning on recording a pop song together. Maybe they’re planning a ritual sacrifice to MJ (it’s totally in Madonna’s nature, as we’ve learned.) Although either effort would be better than any kind of literary tribute.

So how exactly would all their grief, in any kind of collaborative effort, prove persuasive? If it involved less gloss and machination and more candor. Ideally, a YouTube clip leaked at odd hours of the night starring two of them singing into the iSight of a friend’s MacBook Pro would do the trick. Like perhaps?