Lindsay Lohan’s Love Quadrangle: Gerard Butler, Jennifer Aniston, Samantha Ronson

Well isn't this utterly vile! Our condolences, Jennifer Aniston! Not only has your former flame's flick flat-lined over the weekend, but he's allowed himself to be swooped by the ever-enterprising Lindsay Lohan, who is apparently looking to plant a few tabloid seeds before her big excursion to India. We're not blaming Lohan, who's willing to attach herself to the underbelly of any high-profile Hollywoodster in order to climb back to studios' good graces. That's an epic ascent. How to speed it along? With a little tongue naturally.

The setting was the opening of a beach resort in Morocco while supporting players included party guests like Guy Ritchie and Naomi Campbell. The Mirror claims that Lohan confided about her struggles with love, “I’m fed up of all the drama. I just want to find someone who loves me back. I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack every time I think about the break-up. I came here to get away from it all. I’m ready to have fun now.” Lohan and Butler were allegedly dancing and getting to second base to Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.” The same British rag alleges that Lohan continued on about Butler, “He’s hot, he’s mine! I’ve got no ring on my finger so I’m gonna have lots of fun. This is the most romantic place in the world after all.” Really? Morocco. Err, okay!

The pair was finally seen speeding away in a golf buggy. Although none of this adds up, because even though she was in Morocco, she still claims to be with Samantha Ronson. We very well could be on the precipice of a thrilling Aniston-Butler-Lohan-Ronson love quadrangle. Sadly, this remains the only way to make any of these individuals seem colorful, lively, and relevant.