Links: Heidi Klum’s New Last Name, Robert Pattinson + Kristen Stewart’s Cold War

• Hello World! Meet Heidi Samuel. She's just like Heidi Klum, but upgraded: She's fierce! She's real! Sometimes, she even has a fugly misstep. But dammit, she sure loves that guy who was Frenched by a flower. [DigitalSpy]
• I don't know who Justin Bieber is either! Is he that Balloon Boy some people were bantering about weeks ago? Whoever he is, his fans are more unhinged than New Moon hordes, apparently. [ABC News]
• Sigh, I don't know why either as this is the perfect time for her to star in any Age of Innocence remake. (RE: Megan Fox won't be killed off in Transformers 3.) [DigitalSpy]

• Work long enough in this racket and you’ll find Madonnas in unlikeliest places. Like Lebanon! Whose preeminent pop princess finds herself embroiled in an awkward racism scandal because of her use of the word “Nubian” on a children’s album she recorded.  [Jezebel]
• Work long enough in this racket and you’ll instinctively bark, “Oh honey, no,” when Kim Kardashian tries to tell you that her schnoz is not made out of silly putty. [Us Magazine]
• ¡Que scandaloso! Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were avoiding each other like the H1N1 virus at the New Moon premiere the other night. Though neither could outdo Rachelle Lefevre’s shunning. [People]
• Are you aware that aware that Google has a new thing out which it hopes one day will let it directly compete with Apple and Microsoft? But that it apparently bites? [PC World]