Links: Natalie Portman on Meat Rape, Harry Potter C&D

● In Michael Lohan’s guesstimation, Lindsay Lohan has a week, or a month, or a year to live and needs to be in a long-term rehab, lest she wind up like Heath Ledger, who Michael would like you to know was very close to Lilo. [NYDailyNews]
● Lady Gaga’s ninth tattoo will be a dedication to her father, who lived through open-heart surgery. Fittingly, Gaga plans to get a heart with the word "Dad" inside of it. [ContactMusic]
● Natalie Portman defends her vegetarianism by comparing eating meat to rape. [Celebrity-Gossip]

● Andrew Morton, who’s written the unauthorized biographies of Tom Cruise and Princess Diana, claims Angelina Jolie permanently damaged her relationship with her mother by sleeping with her boyfriend when she was just 16. [NYDailyNews]
● Kate Gosselin says she’d like to be in a movie one day. What qualifies her? All those years playing herself on television. [People]
● A girl planning to throw a Harry Potter-themed Halloween party received a cease-and-desist letter from Warner Brothers, who claim the party was “infringement of Warner’s rights”; now she’s just having a “Generic Wizard Night” that also happens to fall on Halloween. [Guardian]