Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, & a Reporter Have Issues

In Freudian terms, Michael Ian Black is the id to Michael Showalter's super-ego. The longtime collaborators and dude-buddies-with-issues have worked together on comedic enterprises such as The State and Stella. They've got a new gig for Comedy Central, a meta-show-within-a-show called Michael and Michael Have Issues. Not at all a misnomer, however. Because, after talking with them, it was pretty evident that, yes: issues are one thing -- among plenty of others -- the two Michaels have going for them.

You have seven episodes and hopefully Comedy Central will pick up more, right?
Michael Ian Black: Yeah, exactly right.

And this sort of grew out of another show you worked on together for Comedy Central. Is it super annoying when you do a pilot or work for some series and they don’t pick it up?
Michael Showalter: Of course.

How do you deal with the frustration?
MS: I hit people. I have very serious rage issues.

What are you guys’ fights like in real life? Is it like yelling or more like angry silences?
MIB: They’re very rhetorical. It’s like debate society, a Socratic dialogue.

That’s very dignified.
MS: It’s not that dignified. We are trying very hard not to lose our tempers.

Have either of you actually made inappropriate calls to TV execs in real life?
MS: We just did. All the time—alllll the time.

What’s it about usually?
MIB: Anything. It could be about marketing, ratings. It doesn’t have to be about our show; it could be about other people’s shows: “How could you put that fucking show on air instead of our show?”

So, you guys have been doing all this press for the show? How has it gone?
MS: People are generally pretty respectful and make sense. They’re journalists. [Ed. Ha.]

You guys have done everything from books to TV to sketch comedy to stand-up between the two of you. Have you ever thought of having your own consulting firm?
MIB: That would literally be the weirdest question we’ve ever been asked.

I just think you must have the breadth of knowledge between you, consulting people make a lot of money, and there are tons of artists trying to break into what you’re doing.
MS: I do have an international consultancy firm which deals primarily with conservative politics in various countries. I specialize in Latin American but I do a lot of European consulting, some African, and we’re just now breaking into the Asian market.

Really? What do they ask you about?
MS: It depends on the region but a lot of it is about framing—the way you shape the debate—and that doesn’t change from country to country. If you control the debate you can control the message. My firm, “Poopy Pants Consultancy,” does training. You don’t get me cheap. We charge a lot of money. Our slogan is “We charge a shit load, and we’re worth it”.

Do you shy away from the corrupt politicians in Africa?
MS: We embrace it. Corruption is universal. At least in Africa it’s overt. In our country it’s covert.

When you go over there do they give you a big welcome?
MS: They usually give me a palace; that’s what I ask for. I have palaces all over. The upkeep is a bitch, which why I have a TV show—to pay for that.

What are your favorite bars and restaurants in New York or L.A.?
MS: I don’t really drink and Michael doesn’t really drink ... but Michael’s favorite restaurant, I am going to guess, is Pearl.
MIB: No, but good guess. My favorite restaurant is Noodle Pudding. It’s in Brooklyn Heights on Henry Street. It’s very, very authentic northern Italian food.
MS: That sounds delicious.
MIB: It’s amazing. They make their own pasta. They have a lot of fresh fish. I go there as much as I can. They have a very large specials menu every day. It changes constantly.

Michael Showalter, do you have any favorite restaurants in either New York or L.A.?
MS: Well, my favorite restaurant is a total guilty pleasure. It’s comfort food. It’s Mary Ann’s on 16th Street on 8th avenue. It’s totally cheap, not authentic, not necessarily even good. And I love it; I love everything about it—except the service, which is generally slow. But they have really good salsa. There is another one on 2nd Avenue and I’ve been going there since I was about 18. It’s a little bit of home. It’s where I go when I need to unwind.

Is comedy related to or like therapy?
MIB: It can be. But it seems to make some comedians in need more therapy.

Who do you think would win in a fight, a black bear or a silverback gorilla?
MS: Where are they fighting? If they’re fighting in a forest then I might give it to the gorilla. I think the gorilla would have the advantage to go vertical a little more easily than the bear.

What about if it’s more of a clearing? It’s more about pure strength and agility.
MS: I think the bear might win.

Have you ever seen a cockfight?
MS: I haven’t. Have you, Michael?
MIB: I haven’t.

When is the last time either of you felt really, really uncomfortable?
MS: Can I say now? Once we got into “Who would win? Bear or gorilla,” I got a little uncomfortable.

Do you still get really excited when you see your show on TV?
MIB: Yeah. I freak out.

So it never gets old?
MIB: Well, I have epilepsy. I think it has more to do with just having epilepsy.

So I guess you can’t watch TV alone?
MIB:  I need to have a buddy with me and a wallet with a big spoon under my throat.

Like a tongue depressor?
MIB: Yeah, I usually use a wallet.

Do you guys have preparation or rituals before you act, or to help you get into the characters that you’re playing?
MS: I have a little make-up compact that I just look at to remind myself what I look like.

Ever since Michael Jackson passed away, I’ve been worried about other celebs overdosing on prescriptions. So I just wanted to know and double-check what kind of medications you guys are on.
MS: I am on the same anesthetic that Michael Jackson was on. But I think I have a better anesthesiologist so I’m not worried about it hurting me.

Why do you need hospital-grade anesthesia? Just to sleep?
MS: I didn’t say I needed it.