Miley Cyrus Auditions for ‘Showgirls’ Remake with Pole Dance
Rohin Guha
August 10, 2009
I imagine that in her copy of the Darwinian Pop Star's Handbook to $ucce$$, Miley Cyrus has checked off a number of things. Become a tween idol with the Disney generation? Check! Parlay that into a career as a mediocre popstrel? Check! Demonstrate adulthood by giving lip-service to hot-button issues? Check! Desperately vie for film-related legitimacy by piggybacking onto a successful film franchise? Check! But sadly, there seems to be no adage about patience, because just this weekend at the Teen Choice Awards, which is kind of like a Fresca-sponsored Bacchanalia for the under-13 set, Cyrus decided to put on hot pants and straddle a pole in what would've been an honorable tribute to Nomi Malone.
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That is, it would have been—had Cyrus actually not treated the pole like a foreign stage prop and embraced it like those before her. Yes yes, of course: “Britney’s done worse!” and “Christina’s been kind of trashy too!” and “What about Willa Ford!” Remember: at their earliest, these pop tarts were all on the other side of 18 years old. Cyrus remains 17 for the time being and therefore all awkward trials with pole-dancing will remain categorically creepy.
Probably if she’d been more Nomi Malone and less awkward, it would’ve made her brush with the vertical wand of wantonness unnerving—even for those of us too busy watching diners digging into human-heart soufflé on True Blood to be aware that Fox was staging their own Feast of Pan for the young ‘uns.
Comments (9)
Posted by Informer on Mon Aug 10, 2009 at 01.22 pm
She’s a disaster and on the highway of being the next Britney Spears in terms of pregnancy and drug and alcohol issues in no time.
I mean, I have never seen parents so permissive in my life.
Disgusting.
Posted by Christina on Mon Aug 10, 2009 at 01.35 pm
wow really are we really resortiing to this. miley cyrus is an amazing person who has done some amazing things in her life and no ones perfect all of you people making articles like this dont even know the beginning of fame this girl was beyond superstardom at age 12 yes 12! if u dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all hasnt your mother ever taught u that. rock on miles we love you<3 xoxo mileys #1 fan and proud of it, and ps im 19 so dont think im some 12 yr old
Posted by Christina is an idiot on Mon Aug 10, 2009 at 04.25 pm
Miley Cyrus is an untalented ugly slut with a horse mouth, and Christiana IF you really are 19 years old,(old enough for college mind you),then i am marrying Prince William this Saturday. You write like an 11 year old. I would not go around telling people I was really 19, if you are you must be retarded--and not be able to make friends who are 19,20,21 year old people...odds are you are not 19 anyway...have fun in the 6th grade this year sweetie.
Posted by Ashley on Mon Aug 10, 2009 at 10.23 pm
Okay 1st off that wasn’t even pole dancing if you really want to see pole dancing watch an episode of rock of love. You deff will see what really pole dancing is. Miley was just holding onto a pole and dancing by it. Just a prop for her preformance. So just leave her alone. She’s done nothing wrong and everyone needs to cut her some slack. She is amazing and everybody else is just jealous. Im 17 and im a hardcore miley fan and im not afraid to admit it. She rocks!
Posted by carlea on Mon Aug 10, 2009 at 11.11 pm
miley cyrus is on a mission to ruin her reputation. first she came out with a 20 year old boyfriend, now she’s doing striptease acts in front of children. as if fame and fortune isn’t enough, she want to be controversial as well. she’s done really well for someone who has no talent and is not even cute. she should be more respectful of her success. a train wreck ready to happen.
Posted by GA SKAL on Mon Aug 10, 2009 at 11.42 pm
As Christina said, why do you people care? Seriously, if you were fan of hers, maybe you could care. But if you ain’t, why blast her with all these criticism? You all got a deprived childhood of being criticised by everyone else around you that you must do it to others on the net whom may not know you? Eat it up, grow up! Even if you weren’t, you are much worse than Miley doing all these things! Why? Think if you have a brain or claim you are smart. Call me stupid, call me dumb, call me whatever names you can think of. But as remember, you are not better than her if you can say she does all these bad things. What about you? Don’t judge others before judging yourself. Heard before? The Bible. Something that Miley stands up for and knows unlike many of you! Hypocrites.
Posted by Someone on Tue Aug 11, 2009 at 08.49 am
Wow, a 16yr old pole dancing. Little small girls are looking up to her and that’s what she did? Those small girls are going to think it’s cool to pole dance because “Hannah Montana” did it. She needs to think twice before she does some retarded thing like this. She cannot act nor sing to save her life, she just got famous because of her father. If she did not have a famous dad, she wouldn’t be famous. You’d think she is just cheesy on her show, but she in real life too with that fake crying during the Kids choice awards. All the awards she won was BS. She didn’t deserve none of them. Miley Cyrus ruined Disney Channel.
Posted by anonymous on Tue Nov 10, 2009 at 02.44 pm
Stop picking on Miley. She was a star at 12 and deprived of her childhood. Christina- I back you up 100%. Christina is an idiot- you really need to stop. those comments are unnessasary and just plain rude. And you can call me whatever age you want but I am 12. Yes, 12. I would not imagine being a star at this age and having people follow me everywhere and others make up ruthless lies about me. That is what Miley went through so just let her be.
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Posted by leah on Mon Aug 10, 2009 at 12.21 pm
for godsake leave this poor girl alone already she is growing up and number 2 she was very hurt by a guy who apparently everyone thinks is innocent. when a guy hurts a girl she doesn’t know how to act so leave her alone.