Miracle Drug Promises “Wolf Eyes”

Ladies and gentlemen, you may want to rejoice over a newly approved drug for hair growth. Or not. The drug Lumigan was approved by the FDA in 2001 for glaucoma patients, but apparently users and eye doctors reported one curious side effect: hair growth. Now the FDA has approved the company Allergan to market the drug as Latisse in February, with the promise the latter will increase the length, thickness, and darkness of eyelashes. And don't worry guys, they have plans for you, too.

Allergan will likely explore the lucrative market or men by possibly offering a more potent version for baldness. For now, the side effects for women using the product are minimal, says Allergan. Some users may experience an itching sensation, redness of the eyes, darkening of the eyelid skin, and darkening of the eye color. One source backed up some of these claims to BlackBook. “It gave me wolf eyes,” said a woman who uses Lumigan for glaucoma. “It’s from when you put the drop in and they run out to the side of my eyes. Then I notice these fine little hairs. It also darkened the color of my eyes.” Of course Allergan is patting itself on the back over its fortunate mistake of stumbling across a miracle hair drug, which will sell for $120 per month’s supply, with the company projecting annual sales of over $500 million. A company spokesman delivered the universal bullshit comment to the Wall Street Journal: “Latisse exemplifies our continuing commitment to developing innovative treatments that are studied in well-controlled clinical trials.” In other words: Oops! But hey, wow, cool!