Supermodel Karolina Kurkova Revealed as Alien Creature

For many folks, fashion models seem like extraterrestrial beings. With perfectly proportioned features and legs that go on for days, there’s something just not natural about that level of aesthetic perfection. And now, for those laymen who have long argued that supermodels aren’t human, there’s now proof in a certain Czech model who has no belly button. NONE!

“While most of us have an ‘outie’ or an ‘innie’, Karolina Kurkova has a smooth indentation (although sometimes a tummy button is airbrushed onto her photos in post-production,” says the BBC. Media outlets made the revelation following the model’s recent appearance in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in Miami. So what on earth explains the tummy button absence? According to the British news source, it’s likely that Kurkova’s navel-less torso is the result of a relatively common surgery that infants undergo to “correct abdominal problems at birth, often either an umbilical hernia, or a condition known as gastoschisis—born with the stomach and intestines poking through a hole in the abdominal wall.” Not exactly a pretty picture. But, as Kurkova’s agent will merely say, “She’s not an alien” in answer to the controversy, the mystery will have to remain just that. Until she extrudes an abdominal ovipositor proboscis to lay eggs in your spine.