Ryan Adams: Intern at Large

View Gallery He writes, he sorts mail, he organizes the fashion closet, he gets coffee. Meet Ryan Adams, BlackBook's new most popular intern ever. The alt-country rocker spent an afternoon learning the publishing ropes in our Manhattan office just days before the release of his new album, Cardinology. “As somebody who has been a victim of fashion and guilty of fashion crimes,” says Adams, while coming up with headlines for this issue, “I know that a lot of people are going to ignore the headline and look straight to the story.” See a gallery of his time in the trenches, and check out our intern's very first CD review after the jump.

We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year (Armoury Records)

Not being a fan of Xmas records in general (the staple Sinatra one withstanding—admit it, you own it too, or you should) and being basically a person with a heart made of heavy metal, I have to say overall this record is maybe most probably horrible. Just terrible. In the worst way. Like fancy shoes with tube socks, it boasts a rather incredible roster of Metal Giants and some probably best-forgotten also-rans. On a positive note, Vinny Appice makes an appearance on drums more than once, Dave Grohl and Lemmy and Billy Gibbons rock out in a beautifully nasty way on “Run Rudolph Run,” the Chuck Berry classic. The record may be worth track four, “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen,” boasting half the second most famous line-up of Black Sabbath (We know them now as “Heaven and Hell”). In fact, Mrs. Dio is Executive Producer of this so I am going to a lame version of hell for the slagging, but, do yourself a holiday favor and enjoy the absurdity of your parents’ lame-ass records and sneak out back for a smoke. The eggnog here is just rotten and please, if you decide to go this one alone anyway, beware the Tommy Shaw slaughter of “Happy Xmas (War is Over).” I hate myself more than ever now in a special heavy metal way after that one and you know, buy a Jesu (brutal-noisy-progressive metal pioneers) record instead this season. It’ll scare Ma like Alice Cooper scares golf courses. Also beware, this product is non-kosher (no Hanukkah songs here…wtf?)////blah. RA—intern.

As a bonus: Ryan’s headline writing test for our forthcoming “Home for the Holidays” fashion story. Favorite: “All dressed up, Spiced Up and Nowhere to Go But Home.” His other suggestions:
1. What the hell did Uncle Bob put in the egg-nog
2. Holiday Chic to wrap yourself
3. Shit we can no longer afford
4. Christmas pier, long walk
5. Put a Bow on This Season’s Holiday Wrap

Be sure to check back Friday for Ryan Adams’ next move at BlackBook.

Photos: Mary Ellen Matthews