Ryan Adams: Intern at Large
BlackBook
December 02, 2008
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He writes, he sorts mail, he organizes the fashion closet, he gets coffee. Meet Ryan Adams, BlackBook's new most popular intern ever. The alt-country rocker spent an afternoon learning the publishing ropes in our Manhattan office just days before the release of his new album, Cardinology. “As somebody who has been a victim of fashion and guilty of fashion crimes,” says Adams, while coming up with headlines for this issue, “I know that a lot of people are going to ignore the headline and look straight to the story.” See a gallery of his time in the trenches, and check out our intern's very first CD review after the jump.
We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year (Armoury Records)
Not being a fan of Xmas records in general (the staple Sinatra one withstanding—admit it, you own it too, or you should) and being basically a person with a heart made of heavy metal, I have to say overall this record is maybe most probably horrible. Just terrible. In the worst way. Like fancy shoes with tube socks, it boasts a rather incredible roster of Metal Giants and some probably best-forgotten also-rans. On a positive note, Vinny Appice makes an appearance on drums more than once, Dave Grohl and Lemmy and Billy Gibbons rock out in a beautifully nasty way on “Run Rudolph Run,” the Chuck Berry classic. The record may be worth track four, “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen,” boasting half the second most famous line-up of Black Sabbath (We know them now as “Heaven and Hell”). In fact, Mrs. Dio is Executive Producer of this so I am going to a lame version of hell for the slagging, but, do yourself a holiday favor and enjoy the absurdity of your parents’ lame-ass records and sneak out back for a smoke. The eggnog here is just rotten and please, if you decide to go this one alone anyway, beware the Tommy Shaw slaughter of “Happy Xmas (War is Over).” I hate myself more than ever now in a special heavy metal way after that one and you know, buy a Jesu (brutal-noisy-progressive metal pioneers) record instead this season. It’ll scare Ma like Alice Cooper scares golf courses. Also beware, this product is non-kosher (no Hanukkah songs here…wtf?)////blah. RA—intern.
As a bonus: Ryan’s headline writing test for our forthcoming “Home for the Holidays” fashion story. Favorite: “All dressed up, Spiced Up and Nowhere to Go But Home.” His other suggestions:
1. What the hell did Uncle Bob put in the egg-nog
2. Holiday Chic to wrap yourself
3. Shit we can no longer afford
4. Christmas pier, long walk
5. Put a Bow on This Season’s Holiday Wrap
Be sure to check back Friday for Ryan Adams’ next move at BlackBook.
Photos: Mary Ellen Matthews
Comments (8)
Posted by MD on Tue Dec 2, 2008 at 08.25 pm
“Coming from the Corner Office”
Posted by D Star on Wed Dec 3, 2008 at 05.09 pm
Nice! I always wonder about Uncle Bob.
Posted by james bruss on Wed Dec 3, 2008 at 05.12 pm
Thanks for the headup Ryan- the commercial on tv looked lame....like a triscuit without the can of spray cheese to go on top. Ill stick with Vol.4 this Christmas.
Posted by Keith Kelly on Thu Dec 4, 2008 at 04.26 am
Great Stuff!
Posted by micela on Thu Dec 4, 2008 at 08.33 am
One of the funniest record reviews ever.
Also, honestly detailed. How do you do that?
Good writing! Thanks RA
Posted by triponbroknbeats on Wed Dec 10, 2008 at 06.30 pm
Metal and Christmas just doesn’t mix!
Posted by Tom Hutchings on Tue Dec 30, 2008 at 03.02 pm
I really wanna know what glasses he is wearing here? Are they Ray bans?
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Posted by Maeve on Tue Dec 2, 2008 at 11.04 am
Uhhh Ryan I’m gonna need you to get down to my office with a new cup of coffee IMMEDIATELY. The froth has gone off this one ;)