Socialites: Caste I Soil

Earlier today, New York Post columnist Cindy Adams was all, "Who the hell is this Olivia Palermo chick?" Gawker provided a comprehensive answer. NYMag.com then worried that Adams might die from the whole shocking experience. We, however, know better. Adams will be fine, Palermo will be finer. And you know why? Because socialites and New York go together better than peanut butter and marijuana. Also, socialites will continue their reign on red carpets because, well, their absurd names can be twisted into all kinds of dirty phrases. And that's why we love them. After the jump, watch OLIVIA PALERMO transform into A VIRILE LOOMPA, along with nine other moniker makeovers.

OLIVIA PALERMO: A Virile Loompa
KRISTIAN LALIBERTE: A Labile Trinket, Sir
ANNABEL VARTANIAN: Anal Ban: Naive Rant?
TINSLEY MORTIMER: Merely Minor Tits
ARDEN WOHL: Hand Lower
DEVORAH ROSE: Overheard, So?
EMMA SNOWDON-JONES: Jean Demon Mows Son
ALLY HILFIGER: Fill Girl, Yeah
AMANDA HEARST: Anathema: Rad
PARIS HILTON: Blech.