Steven Tyler Quits Aerosmith, Robbie Williams Rejoins Take That

What a whirlwhind day for rock heroes! Both past and present. The terrifying trichotillomania-inducing bad news first! Steven Tyler, in a diva-ish homage to Geri Halliwell's abrupt exit from the Spice Girls in 1998, stunned his bandmates with news/lack of further explanation of his own departure. Guitarist Joe Perry says that he knows nothing further, while bassist Tom Hamilton glibly offers how Tyler is always angry at the band. And if the parallel plotting of the Halliwell-Tyler trajectory is true, then just about now, Tyler gearing up to spread (testicular?) cancer awareness on various little-seen chat shows. Reasonable people, however, would've been right in assuming that the band split way back when, shortly either after this single or this one. But enough dwelling on the past!

Excellent news to counter the histrionics of that old leather-face is this: Robbie Williams will be rejoining Take That. Currently enjoying a studly comeback, Williams is going to step out for a one-off reunion with Gary Barlow and crew. And although he won’t be back for good, Williams’ loyalty to the band is permanent and skin-deep. He flashed the new ink he got on his wrist, a tribute to his time in his former band. His new album may do for him what Circus did for Britney Spears and resuscitate his career. But it’s here that we can pause and reflect on his failure. Because he made failure sound so good.