‘True Blood’ Spoilers: Evan Rachel Wood, Impending Genocide, Orange Soda

If you're weary of the filthy hedonism that True Blood's main maenad champions, Alan Ball has your number. And he has major designs for that and every other arc on the vampire soap. Although you can't totally despise a character whose actress states, "When someone offers you an entrance where you're standing in the middle of the road naked with a pig, you don't say no." Ball and the beautiful people of True Blood took to the nerdapalooza of Comic-Con this past weekend. But instead of calming the tempests in our hearts by dispensing a few juicy, spoilery crumbs, they stoked more fires. Thankfully, Ball was quick to dash half-vampire, half-human hybrids from ever spawning on the series. "You’re either all human or all vampire." This is terrible, terrible news for Kim Kardashian. But excellent news (plus a spoilery trailer) for the rest of us!

If you’ve been watching, you’re well aware that Ball has been building up momentum for Sookie and the vampires to clash against Carrie Prejean’s church of choice. Ball promises that things will only get rockier as the second season storms on. More so for a budding love triangle among Sookie, Bill, and Eric the Great, the result of which has already been foretold in the books that inspired the series—and which may, in turn, be quite spoilerish. But Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer, and Alexander Skarsgård all weigh in on the mired, thorny romance that looks to grow out of control before the season’s done.

Also before the finale: Evan Rachel Wood, as Sophie-Anne, the vampire queen of Louisiana. Here’s an epileptic slideshow produced to leave you breathless—shown at Comic-Con. Bear in mind, all of this happens before the second season closes out on September 6.

In short: there will be blood.

Season three, on the other hand, promises to expand the series’ bestiary by introducing werewolves and some of Bill’s cohorts from Mississippi (who some believe may walk among us.) But in doing so, Ball’s also nixing cameos by this fan favorite from the books. Most importantly, HBO and Ball are working on introducing a “True Blood” beverage this fall. And if only the FDA’s palms could be greased more openly, then the drink would probably include “cabernet, the blood of European hemophiliac royalty, vodka, Viagra, and ecstasy.” But you know, laws shmlaws! Laments Ball, “Unfortunately, it’s highly illegal.”

So the official tie-in drink will be bottles of fizzy orange soda, which, unlike Bill Compton’s drink of choice, will not taste good after being zapped in the microwave. Although I suppose it may comparable to human blood. Y’know, after six shots of Hornitos.