Tyra, James Frey to Thank Oprah for Abandoning the Masses

Hollywood’s gossip-in-chief Nikki Finke reported yesterday that as of September 2011, Oprah Winfrey will stop syndicating her talk show and move it to the as yet unlaunched Oprah Winfrey Network. Or in real talk: Oprah’s jumping to some unspecified channel you don’t even get yet. This move, if it plays out, is bad news for CBS (who currently sells Oprah to other TV stations), for people who don’t like exploring the wilds of cable’s triple digits, and possibly even for Oprah herself, depending on how many viewers make the effort to find her on OWN. (She’s lucky she has a more dedicated fan base than Howard Stern). But, as Oprah would remind us, it’s better to focus on the positive. Who are the folks who benefit if The Big O moves off the dial?

Tyra Banks. Just about all talk show hosts and daytime personalities, from Martha Stewart to Ellen DeGeneres to Maury to Judge Judy, could conceivably get a boost if Oprah takes her show out of syndication—they’ll be a whole bunch of viewers used to watching daytime television who can’t get their fix, and may be willing to try something new. But none of these other hosts have been as vocal about being “the next Oprah” as the aggressively energetic, perennially misguided (Smize! Blackface. The acting career) Tyra. Now she’ll have her chance.

TV shows that want Oprah for a cameo. If Oprah moves to her own network, she’s going to have to do a lot of publicity. Like, a lot. Not only will she do the late night talk show circuit (if Jay Leno’s still around, he’ll be happy an assist), but she might even be willing to lower her standards and start doing cameos for popular shows of far less quality than 30 Rock. Oprah Winfrey on Two and A Half Men? CSI?

People who rely on Oprah to tell them the best way to go to the bathroom. They live among us, Oprah-obsessives who take her word as gospel and live their life accordingly. They’ll obviously follow their leader to her new network, but in the crossover maybe a few of them will learn to just ask themselves What Would Oprah Do? instead of having to hear it from the source herself.

Writers who cross Oprah. What if Oprah’s super spanking of the plagiarizing James Frey had gone down on channel 137? Frey would like to know.

Supporters of Oprah for President in 2016. If the most influential woman in America gives up a portion of her influence, she may just find that she misses it. Time to go get some more. One nation under Oprah.