Why is Everyone Obsessed With Heidi Montag’s Boobs?

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Perhaps substantiating Sarah Palin’s ire (there’s a scary thought!), the liberal media elite likes to do crazy things to draw in readers. Like that time Us Weekly was channeling Humbert Humbert and spying on Miley Cyrus. But lately, they’ve shifted their gaze, inexplicably, to Heidi Montag’s bust. This has provoked them to ponder whether Montag is addicted to plastic surgery or not. Not since Meghan McCain’s Twitter tit fit has a nation been so eerily captivated by a blond ingenue’s breasts. Guiltiest culprits after the jump.

Newsweek, of all sources, takes a time out from pontificating on the ills of the world, to think of Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery transformation. ● Which still doesn’t outdo MTV’s crass trumpeting of, “Heidi Wants Even Bigger Boobs!” ● MSNBC meanwhile really delves into the silicone and explores Montag’s complex post-surgery emotional state. ● USA Today meanwhile rounds up the requisite “What do her Hills co-stars think?” opinion. ● Curiously, the best angle comes from WebMD, which exposes her breast enhancement as an incredibly ambitious publicity stunt. ● And the worst from People, which categorizes discussion of Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery under a Bodywatch header.

What have we learned? Getting 10 cosmetic surgeries done in a single day against your better judgment and then acting as if you were in Haiti when that horrible earthquake rocked it can fool some of our country’s leading journalistic establishments. Well done, Heidi Montag, you own American media for just a while longer. Good luck selling that crappy album though!