It looks like the frat boys finally got one right. Spermine, an organic compound found in human sperm, is said to visibly reduce wrinkles and to soften skin. Norwegian company Bioforskning has come out with a synthesized a version of the spunk – derived from the tail of the little swimmers – which is now making the rounds as an expensive facial. The Spermine Nutritive Cream Facial at Graceful Services is still available, though the $250 Spermine Facial first reported on nymag.com last month seems to have disappeared from the Townhouse Spa’s list of services.

This is hardly the first time sperm’s properties have been touted as a beauty fix. Former editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine and feminist icon Helen Gurley Brown famously (infamously?) advised women to "Spread semen over your face, [it's] probably full of protein as sperm can eventually become babies. Makes a fine mask -- and he'll be pleased."

I’m going to plead the fifth on any personal experimentation with sperm as skin treatment, but I can you promise you that I would never pay for it.