First things first: I have never watched The Bachelor. That is, I had never watched it until last night, when I came home to find that my roommate was checking out the season premiere. Obviously, my first thought was, "Well, shit, now I have to sit here for the next two hours to watch these dental hygienists and ‘account managers’ vie for the affections of some dude who lost The Bachelorette, because what else would I do? It’s on." You can imagine how pleased I was to discover that one of the contestants was a 27-year-old New York-based blogger named Jenna Burke, author of a site called The Over-Analyst. Ohhh, boy.
Would it come as a surprise to learn that the self-described over-analyst is a bit of an emotional roller coaster? It didn’t take her long to get into an argument with a blonde named Monica, who confessed to being not blown away by Ben, the poor man’s Josh Groban that the women will spend the next few weeks fighting over. Combining the emotional vulnerability of someone who writes about themselves on the internet with the attention-seeking nature of an aspiring reality TV star, Jenna, obviously, broke down in tears and locked herself in the bathroom for a while, showing up late to the rose ceremony. This was after she attempted to patch things up with Monica by saying, "Maybe we can share a tampon sometime." Sure!
With Twitter blowing up with fans watching the show in earnest (or, more likely, with irony), it’s not surprising that Ben handed over his last rose to Jenna. We need that crazy as much as Ben does! And kudos to the producers for casting a nutty relationship blogger, if only to ensure the free publicity from mesmerized writers online.
Jenna’s blog can be found here, and it’s pretty boring — she hasn’t posted anything since August. But don’t worry, what’s actually there is pretty laughable. Take, for example, the following text she uses to describe herself:
I enjoy analyzing. It’s one of the things people may consider a problem, yet it’s one of the things I really like to do. I think it makes us more interesting and leads us to new discoveries. Overanalyzing happens because you really have a deep interest in learning about life, the good and the bad. I embrace my desires, I feel inspired and I witness the beauty.
It seems a little suspect, however; the template still has filler words like "your default text," leading me to believe that this could possibly be a vast ABC conspiracy to grab the attention from bloggers across the country. (You know, because our demographic has so much power as taste-makers.) Jenna has seemingly written several posts tagged under "love" (there’s a review of Crazy, Stupid, Love, about which she writes, "Everyone deserves their crazy stupid love and they shouldn’t settle for anything less. Move on and don’t look back."), they’re all pretty light. I’m not suggesting she’s supposed to be an intelligent reflective — we learned that much from last night’s episode — but you’d think that a blogger could muster up more than two paragraphs about a dumb movie. (I mean, look how much I’ve mustered up this morning about this stupid show!)