I expect a lot from you and you expect a lot from me. It’s our thing. So let me brush aside the bangs from your face like it was a soft Sunday and whisper sweet New York Times Style Magazine previews in your ear. The first thing we all invariably do when we get the “T” Magazine is see if Alex Kuczynkski threw up crazy all over its pages. Some weeks it simply doesn’t happen and it’s weird like the new way you’re trying to knot your scarf this Fall. But sometimes like today the crazy is on full blast.

Within the first few moments of the forehead-slapping adventure that is reading her annoyingly titled piece "The Best Dwessed List," Alex is disappointed when her child turns out not to be a Keebler Elf. And I am too. Because that would make for great photoshoots, columns, and cookies. This column sallies forth towards a delectable diatribe about her friends being insane and that that insanity breeds sexy baby gifts like a $280 cashmere jumper. I Googled cashmere jumper. This is what came up. But in addition to learning that for the price of a child’s sweatshirt I could take you out to a very nice restaurant before we do it on The High Line, I also learned that Catherine Montiero de Barros of Papo d’Anjo thinks your child’s style is “a bummer” and that people refer to their children as “mini-me’s.” Life, consider yourself affirmed.