And they said print is dead! Further evidence that Cosmo may not actually poll men and/or guys: the ladymag insists that among features they enjoy in their very own built-to-order women is a sense of resourcefulness. And not resourcefulness like how to fix broken heels, or what to do for dinner when all you have is an aubergine and tortillas. More like how to tie your ponytail back when all you've got are your dirty delicates.

In what may be their most MacGyver-esque advice ever, Cosmo insists that it is a "fun little trick that guys love" to use your ass-floss as a makeshift thing to hold your weave back. The final frontier for women's rights has always been how to most effectively combine sexuality with intellect. Here we have a scribe conjuring a literal solution to that.

When you're on an important date/job interview/SeekingArrangement "business meeting," nothing exudes professional confidence like a repurposed thong. Bummed that you're already a half-hour late to work and now you can't find your favorite pink scrunchie, but there's your curiously sepia-tinged lavender thong limp at the foot of your bed? Don't waste time by rooting around for that elusive hair-tie! Slap on that thong and never arrive late(r) to work ever again! But please, no hair-flips.

Cosmo includes other recessionomic tricks to help ladies weather these hard times. Awkward disturbing tricks, like tricking employers into think you are a web 2.0 expert by showing off that body without ever showing off that <BODY>.