Karl Lagerfeld has been in the news quite a bit this week. First off, photo blogger Tommy Ton spawned rumors that Lanvin's Alber Elbaz was Chanel's pick for Lagerfeld's successor; true to Lagerfeld's "I'll die with my boots on" refusal to retire anytime soon, Chanel has since debunked the speculation. Meanwhile, Lagerfeld's FW10 show for the French fashion house -- which he oversees in addition to Fendi and his namesake collection -- has caught quite a bit of flak from ecologically minded audiences. For the affair, Lagerfeld flew in a 265-ton glacier from Sweden; not exactly a cool move, considering that while the stunt may have raised awareness of global warming, flying enormous ice blocks over hundreds of miles and holding a massive fashion show in and of itself leaves quite a sizable carbon footprint. But perhaps the most interesting Kaiser news this week is his interview with gay cult film and art icon Bruce LaBruce in the latest issue of Vice; LaBruce begins, "for a faggot it was tantamount to an audience with the Pope!".

The whole piece is well worth a read but I've singled out some gems:

● On his signature shades: "They’re my burka. A burka for a man. I’m a little shortsighted, and people, when they’re shortsighted, they remove their glasses and then they look like cute little dogs who want to be adopted. "

● One time a journalist asked him to remove his signature shades: "I had an interview once with some German journalist -- some horrible, ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists -- maybe a week after -- and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She had huge tits and a huge black bra, and she said to me, 'It’s impolite; remove your glasses.' I said, 'Do I ask you to remove your bra?'"

● On his stance against gay marriage: "Yes, I’m against it for a very simple reason: In the 60s they all said we had the right to the difference. And now, suddenly, they want a bourgeois life ... And I also believe more in the relationship between mother and child than in that between father and child."

● On his mother's stance on homosexuality: "When I was a child I asked my mother what homosexuality was about and she said -- and this was 100 years ago in Germany and she was very open-minded -- 'It’s like hair color. It’s nothing. Some people are blond and some people have dark hair. It’s not a subject.' This was a very healthy attitude."

● On porn and escorts: "I personally only like high-class escorts. I don’t like sleeping with people I really love. I don’t want to sleep with them because sex cannot last, but affection can last forever. I think this is healthy. And for the way the rich live, this is possible. But the other world, I think they need porn. I also think it’s much more difficult to perform in porn than to fake some emotion on the face as an actor."

● On fur: "If you cannot afford it, just forget about it. Don’t use it as an investment piece to show people how rich you are. Use it like a cheap knitted thing. It’s like a big stone. Lucky you that you can have a big stone, but if it troubles you financially to have the stone, don’t have the stone."

● On his relationship with Anna Wintour: "People I’m really friendly with have faxes. Anna Wintour has one. We speak via fax."

● On his approach to life: "Spinoza said, and I have to translate it into English, 'Every decision is a final refusal.' I live with this."

Photo: Olivier Saillant