The collision of Halloween -- the biggest nightclub night of the year west of New Year's Eve -- with a Saturday night creates problems and opportunities. Every joint in town, even the clunkers, are normally jammed on a Saturday. Halloween brings frenzy when it alights on a Monday; how will clubs prevent a loss of revenues as two great cash nights are crammed into one? They can't fit any more people in and can't charge too much more. Halloween revelers tend to want to hop from joint to joint and hit a few home invasion parties as well. There is greater turnover -- more peeps in and out throughout the evening as ghosts and ghouls, goblins and hobgoblins, Michael Jacksons and Thriller posses somehow trek from haunted mansion to haunted house. It may mean a bit more revenue, but not enough to make up for the overlap. Another revenue stream is necessary. Some clubs make loot by expanding the holiday into the entire weekend. Here's a guide to the events defining the day before and the day after tomorrow.

Tonight -- Friday night -- will be almost as fun as tomorrow, it may be easier to move around, and the crowds will be better. You will have to be heckled by purists who believe you should only dress for the one night, but ignore those square pegs. I think those types always have bad sex, so pity and ignore them. First off is Yoni Goldberg's Fifth Annual Halloween Party at a “private event space.” This Svedka and Red Bull-fueled event will feature music by DJ Cassidy, The Misshapes, Paul Sevigny, DJ Berrie, Mel DeBarge, and DJ Ruckus with surprise performances. Last year, Rev Run and Sugarhill Gang performed. It’s impossible to get in, so I don’t know why I'm telling you. There’s plenty else to do.

For those inclined or eyelined, there's the PAPER Magazine Mr. Black 2033 Svedka Vodka affair. Mr. Black is all settled in at its new home at BLVD on the Bowery. Ladyfag, Drewpsie, Nick B, Half Nelson, the Ass, and a great lineup of grand fools will be on hand. Whipped at Butter will offer Greg from The Misshapes and that motherfucker from Motherfucker, Michael T, as guest DJs. They join regulars Matt and Maia. It's pleasant to have another reason, another night to visit my old creation. Music maestro ... please return to subMercer for a Halloween Getdown. My pal Jennifly hosts this UK-flavored gala with DJ Misbehavior.

Blood on the Dancefloor slams Roseland with monster DJs Paulo, Peter Rauhofer, and Offer Nissim. I may wear my Elvis costume a day early to fit right in at Ella’s Back from the Dead ... and Fabulous party. Also on tap, or I guess available in a bottle but be careful, is Civetta’s All Hallows Eve, Tragic Enjoyment, Romeo and Juliet. Kelly Hulbert is hosting, and I guess they want you to dress “romantical.” According to the always reliable Lupe Ramos, Ilili will be transformed into the “darkest forest,” with Alex Leyland (the guy who put the boom into that Boom Boom Room) DJing .Finally on my radar is Peter Pony Clement’s Funky Disco XVII: The Zombie Edition. This soiree is at the Hose on Avenue B and 13th Street and features zombie go-go boys, and the whole place will be made to look like a Rob Zombie video. It's in the hood, so I can just stumble home .

Events on the day after H-Day -- Sunday, November 1 -- must overcome the hangovers of the day before and from what I just said and you read the day before that. The "Day of the Dead" has a couple of undeniable events for those that are still kicking and screaming. Screaming Mimi’s will bring Dia de los Muertos to 1Oak. I bought my Elvis costume and accessories at Screaming Mimi’s nine years ago, and it still looks great even after washing it a couple of times. Mimi’s has been an institution of kitsch style and pizzazz since the days when there were real clubs to go to. A "Day of the Dead disguise” is suggested, but after Friday and Saturday, that might just mean come as you are. Also, Susanne Bartsch and Kenny Kenny host a masquerade ball with DJ Johnny Dynell and friends at Vandam. Joey Arias -- genius, legend, mentor, and Box MC -- will perform. This crowd dresses up 52 weeks a year, so Sunday figures to be spectacular.

Dress up, have fun, figure out how you are getting home in advance (remember all the cabs will be hiding), beware of costumed strangers, and don’t take candy from creatures you don’t know. Oh, and pray for those damn Yankees.