Any night that ends up in Bellevue can’t be all bad. Your humble servant managed to hurt himself badly enough to require attention and numbing pills. The cute doctor quoting Gloria Gaynor said “I will survive” with the oomph and believability of the disco diva. I believed her and here I am. Instead of flowers, send sympathy notes to Kenmare, which has just won The Eater Award for Best Shitshow of the Year. The other nominees were Artisanal, The Lion, Rouge Tomate, Shang, and Abe & Arthur's. What do I know? I love most of those joints. I was downstairs from Abe and Arthur's last night, attending the Blackbook magazine November issue release bash at SL. I told everyone that the joint was named after me, and everyone protested. November is themed “The Protest Issue” and I wrote a piece for it about those “Shitshow” winners from Kenmare, Paul Sevigny and partner Nur Khan.

Last Friday night, I landed at Abe & Arthur’s approximately one hour early—a first for me, seeing as I'm nearly always late for after-work engagements. But it seems that just as bad as being late for something in the nightlife world is being too damned early. An establishment needs some time to set up properly and hide the bodies, or whatever they’re always scrambling to do. So I left to walk around the Meatpacking District, but after seeing several undercover cops bust some junkies in front of Catherine Malandrino, I decided it was time that I settle into Abe & Arthur’s front bar to wait out the start of their first birthday celebration.

● Mario Batali at the opening of Eataly: My favorite places to eat are generally downtown in the Village: Pearl Oyster Bar, Spotted Pig, Grand Sichuan. My favorite thing to eat is anything anyone else makes! Da Silvano has an octopus salad and octopus grill that's really beautiful. ● Mayor Mike Bloomberg at the opening of Eataly: There are 20,000 restaurants in New York City, and I try to eat at every single one of them. ● Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen at GLAAD Summer Rooftop Party: wd-50, and in Brooklyn, Pacifico, the Mexican restaurant on Pacific St.

Giselle Xtravaganza’s Dream Ball would have been a nightmare had it not been for the courage of the fearless crew who made the most of it. The brave, the fabulous, and the few that did attend were treated to a marvelous time, as all who gathered at Capitale for this event know you really only need two people to have a party. It seemed like 200 actually came, but they were expecting 500. Maybe the $40 ticket price was a bit too ambitious. The little magnet on my refrigerator asks and explains, “If Size Doesn’t Matter, Why Aren’t There 4-Inch Dildos?” This is a valid point, but quality and enthusiasm are also incredibly important. There was no shortage of either at Giselle’s Dream Ball, and she should be proud.

Organizers of big group dinners have it rough. The individual is subjected to the whims of 5 to 15 people or more, often on an email chain where the last suggestion paired with a witty retort or clever anecdote about the level of attractiveness of the staff at such-and-such restaurant wins. Well, screw it. If you volunteer to organize a group/birthday/going away/welcome home dinner, use this new fool-proof method and eliminate haggling amongst potential dinner-goers. It's not complicated. It's a lottery, but unlike the New York state variety or credit card roulette, in this game of chance everyone wins. Write down each restaurant on the list below on a separate piece of paper, shuffle 'em around, and pull from a hat. First restaurant wins. It's not complicated, it's just science. Bon chance!

Nightclubs can’t survive in this economy on booze sales alone. It’s for this reason that today’s savvy businessmen are now looking to on-site restaurants to support their operations. Food seeds a room early. Smart new boîtes are doing big dinner business at 5pm—or brunch, even—with their clubs only a staircase away. Whether or not they eventually fill up, places that don’t serve food don’t do much business until well past midnight, which means their owners spend way too much money on soaring rents, insurance fees and operating costs. New York nightspots like Tenjune, STK, Simyone Lounge, Abe & Arthur’s, the new Butter and the forthcoming joint from Scott Sartiano and Richie Akiva all play this same game. Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss’ Avenue even does it all in the same small room.

Farryn Weiner really loves her job. As the associate editor of Jetsetter, the flash-sales travel site allied with Gilt Groupe, the Miami native gets to peak around the four corners of the world in search of premier hotels, properties, and adventures for members of the site. Launched in September '09 by Drew Patterson, formerly of Kayak, Jetsetter makes the decision to travel easy with incredible steals on hotel stays and members-only experiences. More after the jump on Farryn's must-have travel tips and the story behind Jetsetter.

At the premiere of Our Family Wedding:

Gone are the days of the grunting, cross-armed, meathead bouncer. Inspired by the example of revered nightlife fixture Gilbert Henry Stafford, the current generation of doormen are sophisticated and stylish toughs who adorn -- and block -- New York’s tightest doors.

1. Harvey Keitel at the opening of A Behanding in Sokane on Broadway: "A candy store in Brighton Beach, in Brooklyn. It was called Ali Baba & the 40 Thieves." 2. Anthony Mackie: "Hey, book that is black! I love to go down to STK. One of my very favorite restaurants is Three Sisters, on Madison and 124th -- the best Caribbean food you can find in New York. 3. Jennifer Morrison: "I have had no chance to discover that yet because we just opened last night. Where in L.A.? I love Medeo Restaurant. We eat there all the time. Dan Tana's, some of the usual spots. Any favorite dishes? I'm a huge fan of spaghetti and meat sauce. It's my weakness, anywhere I go, so ..."