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Michelle Obama's 50th birthday party is nearly a year away, but already Adele and Beyoncé (of course) have been booked to perform.

You know what I love more than Adele? Adele's voice. No, not the singing one—although it's pretty good, I suppose. The speaking one. Accents! I love an accent. Especially British accents in which the Brits don't sound automatically smarter than Americans. Although, to be honest, Adele sounds smarter than most of us. Anyway, here's a supercut of her saying "fank you very much" over and over and over and over.

Were last night’s Academy Awards the worst in the history of the ceremonies? Well, probably not—they are all kind of bad, aren’t they? But host Seth MacFarlane immediately set the tone with a bit calling his Oscars the worst, and I’m not surprised that by the end of the ceremony most people I know weren’t too pleased with the broadcast. Full of misplaced musical numbers, an awkward appreciation for the film Chicago, a too-long montage of James Bond films (to coincide nicely with the 50th Anniversary box set currently on sale), and a general disgust for itself and its audience, last night’s ceremony proves again that the Oscars need a major overhaul. Here are four ways the producers can avoid these embarrassing and awkward mistakes.

We made it! Awards season is officially over, and what a season it was. From vampire lips and salamanders to debate-rousing dresses, stars tried everything and anything to stand out on the red carpet. Although last night's 85th Annual Academy Awards saw the safest sartorial statements, there were a few serious fashion moments that kept me from zoning out during the three-plus hour program. From Charlize Theron's minimalist magic to Adele's unparalleled perfection, see who aced it after the jump.

Chris Brown created controversy, as is his wont, at the Grammys on Sunday evening simply without leaving his seat. People seemed enraged that Brown was not a better sport about losing an award to Frank Ocean, with whom he recently brawled in a Los Angeles parking lot a few weeks ago. People were also excited that a now-infamous photo taken on Sunday night depicted what many assumed was an argument between Adele and Brown; the truth, of course, is that Adele was not scolding Chris Brown. The British singer-songwriter claims she was "complimenting" Brown rather than yelling at him.

The category for Best Original Song is always a bit of a mess. The songs are rarely judged on how they good they sound; the importance, of course, is how the song fits into the film for which it was written. This year's nominees are representative of the usual fare. There's the popular choice (Adele's "Skyfall," which will likely win, as it should), the new song for the big-budget musical adaptation (the unnecessary "Suddenly" from Les Misérables), and then there are the forgettable tunes (I didn't even know what Chasing Ice was before today, much less the song from it). It's a shame, really, because there were plenty of good tracks included in the list of 75 eligible songs. Here are a few that probably will have a longer shelf life than "Lullaby for Pi."

How many times have you heard some old person complain about what the kids are listening to these days? (Oh, yesterday, from me?) It's a certainty, like death and taxes, that popular music will only cause the furrowed brows of the cool kids of yesteryear to become more creased, their now wrinkled hands forming into limp fists raised slightly in the air as the loose skin on those arms shake with a ferocity only matched by the senility so depressingly spouting from their typing fingers. Do not dare hush them! They have opinions, and they are always correct! Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Musto has something to say about the current state of pop music! 

Adele gave birth to a baby boy on Friday, according to news reports. Adele's rep has yet to confirm the birth but rumors are circulating that Adela and partner Simon Konecki are "ecstatic."

A James Bond film can live or die by its opening-credits theme song. The big, sexy lounge numbers of the Sean Connery era—"Goldfinger," "Diamonds Are Forever"—are as well-known and loved as the corresponding movies that bear those names. Although The Spy Who Loved Me is probably a bottom-tier bond movie, Carly Simon's "Nobody Does It Better," composed by the late, great Marvin Hamlisch, is one of the best themes in the entire series. And does anybody remember a-Ha's theme to "The Living Daylights?" Does anybody remember The Living Daylights? No? Exactly. 

TMZ, People, and the Federal Bureau of Investigation have all harmoniously confirmed the terrible breakup of a torrid sexual relationship between Hollywood actors Jennifer Anniston and Robert Pattinson, who appeared on The Daily Show with Jimmy Fallon last night to confirm that he will be the new legal guardian for Suri Cruise, the illegitimate child of British chanteuse Adele and an unnamed father who is probably Bret Michaels, the rock star famous for his recently called-off double-engagement to Twilight’s Kristen Stewart and one of the girls from Teen Mom.