The glory of the Obama inauguration aside, it’s been a pretty rough time to be an American, and many of us are feeling it. Wars, waterboarding, W., foreclosures, financial foolishness ... Hell, Farrah and Michael Jackson just died. But you know what? Saturday is the Fourth of July and goddammit, that means it’s time to take a moment and salute the flag. I prefer my tributes to the land of my birth to be corny and sweet. No reading the Declaration of Independence aloud for me. Too earnest. But no snarky Eurotrash derision either. This is a great country with a great history well worth celebrating. That’s why I strongly encourage all of you, when inevitably invited to one of the holiday’s de rigueur festive barbecues or get-togethers, to bring the flag cake. (If you’re doing the hosting yourself, this is your dessert.) Full disclosure: this is the Donald Rumsfeld of cakes -- it will shock and awe at first, but is frankly kind of stupid.

Invite the most vivacious, witty blend of friends and acquaintances, lubricate them with the smoothest cocktails, and serve them cuisine that would make even Mario Batali smack his lips -- but as a host, if you don’t come with the right attitude, the whole evening will be a flop. Entertaining at home is a personal statement. It’s your home. Behold these commandments, though you’ll forgive me if I dispense with the Thou Shalts:

It’s the safe host who succumbs to the simple allure of the familiar. A summer dinner party? Burgers, he’ll pronounce. Yawn. But a good old-fashioned cheeseburger done right is pretty hard to beat. In these times of national uncertainty, it’s nice to remember that the U.S. of A. did come up with a few good ideas along the way. The key to making burgers work in 2009 is enhancing the production -- adding a touch of originality.