As mobile technologies expand, so do Americans. And with two-thirds of us pretty darn fat and getting fatter, the cell phone industry is about to explode. Fortunately, the innovative minds behind creating the sleekest and thinnest portable devices have taken our pudgy asses into account.

Did you order your iPhone 4S yet? No? OMG. What are you going to do? How will you survive? This is monumentally, epically terrible. The online Apple Store has updated its shipping estimates and users ordering the device now won't be able to pick one up on launch day. Instead, they'll have to wait an excruciating one to two weeks.Future text message to your old phone from someone quicker than you? "Ha Ha!"

Millions of people are mourning the loss of the man who is primarily responsible for the way we now communicate our grief: with our computers and our phones.

The creator of the personal computer, iPod, iPhone, and iPad has died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 56.

Sonar [Free] Even if this feels a little Klute-inspired for our tastes, it’s inarguably handy for those of us who struggle with small talk. Instead of hopelessly trying to bridge the six degrees that separate you from the person you just met at happy hour, try Sonar, a social network aggregator that reveals otherwise hidden mutual Facebook friends, overlapping “likes,” and fellow Twitter followers while using Foursquare check-in technology to locate other users in locations as disparate as airports and concert venues. In the event there’s no time to do a complete background check on a prospective crush, the app also divulges any overlapping employment and education histories.

You’ve really gotta hand it to China. The business of counterfeiting has always been a lucrative one, but it seems the latest trend in the knockoff circuit is duplicating entire Apple Stores. While strolling through the fairly remote southwestern Chinese city of Kunming, one U.S. blogger happened upon a fake Apple Store that was realistic enough to fool its own employees.

It’s really a shame that Bieber’s fans can’t be more like Steve Jobs’ fans. Sure, you can surround a hotel and cause a near riot to catch a glimpse of the object of your desire, or you can just casually camp out for 41 hours, and then sell your spot closest to Bieber, or closest to an iPad 2, to someone who really needs their fix. Today’s #winner is college student Amanda Foote, who turned a $900 profit for her first place spot on line to acquire the new iPad 2, which will be released at 5pm today. Our question to you, Amanda, is: Why didn’t you just push for that last $100 to make it an even $1,000?

PEREZ HILTON [Free] When you’re desperate to find out if LiLo broke probation, or who Jake Gyllenhaal is locking lips with this week, Perez Hilton is your pop culture compass (even if his moral needle is pointing due south). His official iPhone app doesn't disappoint, granting gossip fiends access to "Hollywood's Most Sassy Website" at a moment's notice, offering live-streaming updates and breaking news on the world's most famous fuck-ups. It also has a stealth stalker mode with push notifications that tell you where the stars are hiding out (or shooting up) in your neighborhood. Share the latest tweets, YouTube videos, and—ZOMG!—posts from Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr. with your own personal peanut gallery.

PARALLEL KINGDOM [Free] This role-playing game, admittedly for total nerds, doesn’t just drop players into a wholly fictional world; it enhances real life by using your location on Google Maps and overlaying your environment with special challenges. Parallel Kingdom, for example, reveals hideous creatures lurking on a street corner, or mythical beasts standing in front of your local bodega. Battle it out with a host of characters in real time while talking to—and hunting down—other players. Trade resources with allies in this parallel world, and then stake out land to found your own kingdom on this invisible plane of existence in your own city. Reality bites, so escape into this enhanced one.

● Apple products appeared in 30% of last year's top movies, beating out Nike and Ford for Most Placed Product. That means that if you watched a movie last year, you probably caught a glimpse of an iPod. If you went outside, you probably also saw an iPod. [AppleInsider] ● For Justin Timberlake, the hardest part about acting is reminding people you are not, in fact, a total jerk: "What’s been more of a battle for me throughout the process of moving into acting is that I feel like I have to keep reassuring people that I’m not an asshole." [Interview] ● When people ask, Justin, just tell them Yeezy taught you. The kind of moment TwitPic was invented for: [Twitter]