Now that he’s not governing the eighth largest economy in the world, Arnold Schwarzenegger can focus on much more important things: making action movies. But just because he’s returned to acting doesn’t mean he won’t face remarkable challenges every day. His next movie, for example, was just changed from Black Sands to Black Sunday.  Pivot, Arnold! Pivot!

The Expendables was basically gun porn drenched in bro sauce, a noisy, abrasive filmification of a dude named Sully punching you in the stomach while blasting Pantera. The Expendables 2? Yes, oh yes, more of the same. The one-minute trailer, released today, shows all of the stars from the first film and more shooting stuff to pieces, holding guns, looking dead serious in some seriously unflattering lighting.

Since stepping down after his final term as the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been penning an autobiography. The actor, businessman, politician, and cigar smoker plans to call the book Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story. Will he write at length about the sordid affair that caused his split with Maria Shriver? Probably not, considering a source told People, "This book will not be a tell-all.”

● Incredibly level-headed young exes Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner shared a nice evening together at the Teen Choice Awards. Reportedly, the two "were laughing and having nonstop fun." Swallowed pride works every time. [NYDN] ● Arnold Schwarzenegger went out for a bike ride in an unfortunate t-shirt that read "I SURVIVED MARIA" on the front, and had the dates "1977-2010" -- the years they dated -- on the back. Oops! [TMZ] ● Eldest Palin child Track and his wife Britta welcomed their first child, Kayla Grace, in Wasilla, AK over the weekend. [People]

● Pink and Carey Hart welcomed baby Willow Sage Hart into the world yesterday. Baby Willow is "gorgeous just like her daddy," Pink tweeted. [NYP] ● Ah, okay: Megan Fox was too feminist to work with Michael Bay on his latest Transformers movie. Or, as Shia LaBeouf put it, "Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael, who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women." [Hero Complex/LAT] ● Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was willing enough to indulge certain other needs, just can't quit that wedding ring. He was spotted out in LA with his daughter, ring still on cheatin' finger. [UsWeekly]

● This years Cannes is a wrap, and Terrence Malick's The Tree of Life took the Palm d'Or, while Kirsten Dunst earned Best Actress, presumably for her performance at the now infamous Melancholia press conference. [THR] ● Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez shared their most public kiss (on the lips!) yet, after Bieber won Best New Artist at last night's Billboard Awards. [JustJared] ● When it comes to the ladies -- and as we now know, there have been a lot of ladies -- "unstoppable womanizer" Arnold Schwarzenegger has been known to aim low, opting for the more "grateful" plain Janes. "The physical is most important to him and he does not want to be upstaged or lose the spotlight in company of a strikingly beautiful woman," reports the New York Post. Gross. [NYP]

Call me superficial, but am I the only one here surprised by the overall shabbiness of Arnold Schwarzenegger's mistress? Of course not. As TMZ's numerous slideshows have made so painfully clear, Mildred Patricia Baena is not your typical temptress. That is to say, there's nothing tempting about her. So why did Arnold Schwarzenegger risk his painstakingly-built career, family, and image for someone so unattractive? Let's examine!

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver separated recently when it was revealed that the Ahnuld had fathered a love child. Radar Online and TMZ are both reporting that they've identified the mother, 50-year-old Mildred Baena, a member of Schwarzenegger's household staff. Now, Gawker is saying that there might be two Schwarzenegger love children by different mothers.

● First came reports of "many women," then came the love child. The Schwarzenegger/Shriver separation might be messier than we thought. [LAT] ● M-Bone of Cali Swag, the rap group who's hit song, "Teach Me How To Dougie," has reached even the First Lady, was killed in a drive-by shooting over the weekend. [AP/NYT] ● The tequila company that sponsored the Chateau Marmont event where Lindsay Lohan and Marilyn Manson were photographed together would like everyone to know that Lohan wasn't invited. "I advised Chateau management she wasn't invited and that it wasn't a good idea for her to be there, given her history," said the company's CEO. [Page Six]

● The new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are on their honeymoon right now, on an island somewhere surrounded by coconut groves. Where are you? [DailyMail] ● After 25 years of marriage, Arnold Schwarzennegger and Maria Shriver have separated. Shriver's moving out of their Brentwood mansion while they "work on the future of [their] relationship". [LA Times] ● Whitney Houston has voluntarily returned to rehab, purportedly as part of a "long-standing" recovery process. [AP/Yahoo]