Art Basel is one big, enticing, honey pot of rich folks, semi-rich folks, and broke folks posing as rich folks, and generally a lot of inebriated folks with expensive things. In other words: a grifter’s paradise.

At Art Basel Miami Beach this year, there were many contenders for top culinary attraction. The Dutch’s new Miami outpost was a major draw, booking up well in advance by New Yorkers eager to get their hands on their favorite little oyster sandwiches. Cecconi's at the Soho Beach House was crammed with brunch-going scenesters sipping bloody mary’s and basking on the olive tree lined terrace. Pubbelly and Yardbird earned the foodies’ attention, while classics such as Mr. Chow and Casa Tua remained packed throughout the event. But the real draw for food-loving art-goers was Jennifer Rubell’s 11th annual breakfast installation at the Rubell Family Collection.

Like we just said, the best performance at Art Basel was a tie between Theophilus London and Shaggy. Theophilus London was in the middle of a rocking set at the Bing-sponsored Art of Night party at the Shelborne Hotel, when the Brooklyn-based London jumped into the deep end of the pool (the stage was built on a plexiglass island in the pool) and immediately began frantically flapping his long arms and thrashing in the water, apparently unable to swim. The lanky crooner was eventually rescued by quick thinking members of his BK entourage. Meanwhile, blasé Baselers surrounding the poolside concert and casually observed the event with a free drink in hand, while a ripple of "well, you know the stereotype" murmured through the crowd. Was it a deliberate and provocative performance piece playing off racial stereotypes? Or was it the reckless rock antics of a brother who can't swim? Either way: great material, which we'll post of a video of soon. 

The sun has set on the tenth Art Basel Miami Beach. Tents have disappeared overnight, and the Euros left a cigarette butt trail behind them. Although it still remains a mystery how a city with no noteworthy museums, and reputation for fleeting interest in just about anything other than basketball and beaches, can host an event of such proportions. But Miami has managed to put on quite the show. Here are our top five picks of what made this show worth the blisters on our feet.

Saturday night in Miami was a clash of nudity and insanity. There were naked girls—proving to be a recurring theme at this year’s Basel—graffiti, and a $150,000 print of Will Smith's kid performing oral sex on his father. There was the Norwood party at the Shore Club, the Phillips de Pury auction of a Ryan McGinley, Dash Snow, and a Dan Colen at the Webster, the Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black at The Hole Gallery's Playboy party, and the Westway pop-up back at the Shore Club. It was all too much. 

While a few of their tracks might not be outta place on a wildly with-it pleasure craft, the band known as YACHT cannot be docked.

Last night saw the opening of "CLASSIC" at the AE District, a retrospective of hip-hop photographer Jonathan Mannion's awesome body of work. Mannion, one of the most prolific rap photographers alive, mingled with crowd, chatting with MC pals like Fabolous and A$AP Rocky, who came in support. Later, Rick Ross took the stage for a Q&A and slide show of Mannion's work, we found what was up for the rappers in Miami. 

The thing about interviewing someone like Mr. Brainwash (MBW), is that you can’t help but think you're getting royally mind-fucked. The star of Exit Through the Gift Shop and the subject of never-ending speculation about his authenticity, is known to have walked a fine line between what is perceived to be art, and his version of it. Some dismiss his work as a minimally altered mass reproduction of images that are deeply rooted in our collective subconscious. His version lacks originality and substance, they say. But that has not stopped the Frenchborn aretist from carving out a niche as the one who makes art out of not making it.

The party continued Friday night at Art Basel as Adrien Brody, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Tilda Swinton, Will Smith and more said beinvenudo Miami. Find out who was where and what happened after dark. 

Art Basel or not, the attention span of an average Miamian can easily be tied to the frequency of fake breast spotting (That's an actual sport down here). In other words, it ain’t that long. So last night, when Pharrell Williams presented the Montblanc de la Culture Arts Patronage Award to Design Miami co-founder Craig Robbins, the boisterous audience was anything but focused on paying homage to the man credited with the renaissance of Design District.