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FRIDAY: Ultra Music Festival Rages On
Get ready for the ultimate freak show that mixes top DJs, herds of mask-wearing, half-naked club kids, hallucinogenics, and Miami traffic jams at Ultra Music Festival. It may be tough to top last year’s unexpected appearance by Madonna at the turntable, but that doesn’t mean that the likes of Azealia Banks, Swedish House Mafia, Avicii, and Deadmau5 won’t try. Should you opt to stay home this year, the Ultra soundtrack - slated to hit digital stores on March 19^th - ought to give you a taste of all that you missed. Minus the traffic, of course.

It seems like each new week brings something new and cool from Azealia Banks. 

"Harlem Shake" is the new dance craze the kids are doing these days. If you have to ask what it is, you're probably too old to know. Also, Azealia Banks video won't explain it to you.

Last week the Internet rolled its eyes at rappers Azealia Banks and Angel Haze and their sparring diss tracks. Kids today! In short order, Perez Hilton interjected himself into the debate and Banks lashed out, calling the openly gay blogger a "faggot" and asking him "does your butthole whistle?"

There are few turns of phrases that make me feel old than "Twitter beef," but it is so: hip-hop starlets Azealia Banks and Angel Haze were caught feuding online this week after Banks suggested that one cannot claim to be a New Yorker if one was not born in New York. I call myself a New Yorker, despite being born in Virginia, but I kept pretty quiet for fear of an all-caps response from Banks. I don't want to be in a Twitter beef with Azealia Banks! Angel Haze, whose song "New York" includes the line "I run New York," despite her Michigan upbringing. Rappers are always on edge about these sorts of things. Naturally, the two of them spent the better part of Wednesday afternoon shit-talking each other.

Nothing has made me feel more ancient than the news this morning that some kids on the internet are mad at Azealia Banks and Rihanna. What did they do? Well, they both performed in front of green screen-projections of sea imagery (in the video for "Atlantis" and on SNL, respectively). Apparently, there's a whole world of people who are into that sort of thing. Naturally, they live in their underwater cave fantasy worlds, but mostly on Tumblr, where 90% of terrible things exist under the guise that it is "art" (or porn, I guess). 

Hello, how are you today? Good? Good. Here are the vibes for this week. Insert that quote from The Great Gatsby about fall here.

It’s Fashion’s Night Out, which for some people, might be the best day of the year (just call it Treat Yo Self 2012). Special deals, limited edition gear, and complimentary drinks and snacks abound. If you’re in NYC, here are some options for music to see around town.

There's many metrics of when you've finally "made it" and one of them is when you get your own MAC lipstick. So congratulations, Azealia Banks: the Harlem-born rapper is the face of the limited edition Yung Rapunxel, a trendy matte plum lipstick.

I originally made this for my friend’s mixtape club under the theme “gift raps.” It is exactly what it says it is.