Musician Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins has a thing for watching smashing heads. The rocker has joined two wrestling promoters to launch Resistance Pro, an indie wrestling company. Float like a bullet on butterfly wings, sting like a bee?

Some things in the universe will never make sense, no matter how many chalkboards you fill with equations. The girl from The Newlyweds dating the guy who wrote Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness is one of those things. Simpson just told Allure magazine she's single, but she's been seen with Corgan on enough occasions to know something was going on at one point, and that's just as mystifying. Simpson already tweeted what she sees in Corgan—"a pure and enlightening outlook on faith"—but unless he had a conversation with John Mayer, the question always was, what does he see in her? We recently asked former Hole and Smashing Pumpkins bassist Melissa Auf der Mar, who's known Corgan since she was 18, to shed some light on the situation.

Okay, so this thing about a third-rate pop singer and one of the '90s pioneering alt-rockers playing footsie under the table. It's true? We're running with it? We're going with the vague notion that if given the chance, these two will rent an Escalade and drive it up to the cabin, and engage in something resembling sex for a weekend? That after an awkward series of nasal grunts and warbling bellows, they'll drive back to the Hills, glowing, and attend the red carpet premiere of Transformers 4 or whatever and we'll have to buy it? Nope. Not happening. But not because the thought of their sex organs touching seems so...physically impossible. Rather, because the pair have admitted to taking the slow-track.

● Are you also looking for an apartment? Do you like the smell of weed? If so, Lil Wayne's looking for a roomie.[ContactMusic] ● Brain Cox, best known for his roles in Manhunter and X2, teaches a toddler Shakespeare and it’s adorable. [Youtube] ● An ‘official porn parody’ of the Tiger Woods-extra-martial-affair-apalooza is coming to the screen. See what happened if the women involved looked like porn stars. Oh, wait. [NYDailyNews]

● What do Jason Segel, Lindsay Lohan, and a Dracula muppet have in common? They all had a sleepover this weekend at Segel’s Los Angeles pad. [CelebGossip] ● After John Mayer and Tony Romo, has Jessica Simpson moved on to Billy Corgan? [OkMag] ● Sean Penn and Milk costar Josh Brolin were seen making up for their lost college years by playing a little grab-ass for the paparazzi over the weekend. [FadedYouth]

It’s the classic scenario that you always hear about but hope never happens to you. You have an unorthodox, creative job that makes it hard to afford real health insurance -- or if you do have health insurance and get into a serious accident, you might be in just as big of a pinch. That’s the scenario that Laura Masura finds herself in. Luckily, she’s got big friends in high places, namely Billy Corgan and the Smashing Pumpkins. Corgan and his other band, The Backwards Clock Society, are headlining a benefit show on Sunday for Masura at Echoplex. (The band also includes Kerry Brown of Ancient Chinese Secrets and Mark Tulin of the Electric Prunes.) Additional performers include The Happy Stars (Brian Young from Fountains of Wayne), The Pulsars, Tim Rutili (Red Red Meat, Califone), Pity Party and Light FM. If you're a Pumpkins obsessive, a couple of goodies are being auctioned off, including Jimmy Chamberlin’s autographed drum kit used in Gish, and one of Corgan’s bass guitars. But how does one get Billy Corgan to play one's benefit show?

● What happened to Billy Corgan? He was once an icon of alternative rock ... but now? He’s using former lyrics to promote PPV wrestling matches. [Youtube] ● Pharrell Williams has decided to laser all the tattoos off his arms off. [Twitter] ● Denise Richards has filmed a segment for Funny or Die about what’s she’s known for: her "funbags." [FunnyorDie]

● Rose McGowan introduces Vanity Fair readers to "her gays," which include a fashion stylist, the general manager of the Chateau Marmont, and an artist. All are fab-u-lous! [VF] ● Tila Tequila brought Smashing Pumpkins founder Billy Corgan as her date to the Bravo A-List awards. [EvilBeetGossip] ● Speaking of Tila Tequila, she would like you to know she and new BFF Meghan McCain have a ton of things in common; see, they’re both Scorpios, and both have strong opinions. [US]