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Like most hangovers, the third one is just not quite as fun as the first – and so is the consensus of The Hangover Part III, which opened today. But that doesn't stop critics from making some hilarious one-liners about it, whether they meant to or not. Here's the funniest:

With a frothy strawberry margarita in one hand, a bacon-Vermont cheddar cheeseburger in the other, and your eyes fixated on the crystalline-lit Brooklyn Bridge and East River, one thing is clear: Watermark Bar is now open, and summer may commence. OK, so we haven't yet made it to the June 21st-summer solstice, but we can sure act like we have.

Could it be? A beer garden is now open that offers baby back ribs, cornbread, ping-pong, and board games – and it's in Manhattan?  Dreams come true, and its the lauded Blue Ribbon team who's making it happen with tonight's grand opening of Blue Ribbon's Beer Garden, right outside the Thompson LES. Just shimmy through the Blue Ribbon Sushi Izakaya to the terrace, and you've arrived. 

In a moment that any dog lover, newscaster, survivor – human being – would love, an Oklahoma tornado survivor finds her dog crawling out from under the rubble of her home – right in the middle of a live TV interview.

Do I know what you're doing this Memorial Day Weekend? No. But do I know what Ke$ha is doing? Yes. The star who proclaimed 21 times that "we're gonna die young" in her hit song will be hosting and performing for the opening of Haven Nightclub – the new dance club inside the Golden Nugget that brings the slot machines and roulette tables under the stars to its own outdoor veranda, complete with fire pits and lounges. For the first time ever in Atlantic City, nightlife shakes hands with gaming and "takes it outside."

"We'll go up, up, up, but I'll fly a little higher. We'll go up in the clouds because the view's a little nicer."

There are four times this summer when several very peculiar things are happening in the Hamptons. Things like "having your chilled Dom Perignon rosé parachute-delivered 13,500ft by a skydiver," or "eating French toast bites alongside Angus beef sliders and lobster rolls." Sounds familiar? Then perhaps you've been to Day & Night in NY – the Koch brothers' sparkler and DJ-filled brunch party – and perhaps you'll be very happy to hear: it's taking over Montauk for the third year in a row. 

Ever wonder how Ren & Stimpy got on the air? Why Sam always climbed through Clarissa's window? Who came up with the song "Killer Tofu" on Doug? Me too. And in the spirit of "ask, and you shall receive" is a new book full of all the golden answers to all your '90s-nostalgia questions: SLIMED! An Oral History of Nickelodeon's Golden Age. 

Th Meatpacking's sexy steakhouse STK gets even sexier tomorrow when it opens its single greatest facet: the rooftop.

In honor of the national holiday that is National Burger Month, I'm devoting Fridays to the world's love for the juicy, dripping beast that is The Burger. First honored were the weirdest burgers, then the smallest burgers, and today, I'm honoring NYC's BIGGEST burgers. Oh yes. Size matters. Take a look at these big boys: